Transcriptions

[Krulle]

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SFX: Bloop
SFX: Click

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SFX: Bloop Bloop
SFX: Click Click Click

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Unidentified: I can feel it swaying! It's going to fall any second!
Unidentified: Aah!
Unidentified: Noooo!
Unidentified: Help us!

Unidentified: Climb higher!
Unidentified: I'm slipping!
Unidentified: Aaaah!

Kobold: The hut is just dangling! We're gonna die!
Unidentified: My leg!

Kobold: The rock is cracking apart! I can pull us free!
Kobold: Don't! We'll fall!
Kobold: My leg is broken!

Saves a Fox: Hava, the stone is crumbling around my chain! I'm gonna fall!
Piss Off I Hava Headache: Take my hand!
Unidentified (Kyriel?): There's a ledge over there!
Unidentified (Dixon?): Can you reach it?

Dies Horribly: K'seliss please!

Dies Horribly: You're ripping apart the last logs that are holding the hut in place!

K'seliss: Raaaaaaa!

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SFX: Clink

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SFX: Foomp

Saves a Fox: Mmnnn

SFX: Rriip

SFX: Rrrriiiiip
Saves a Fox: Oh no

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[Krulle]

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SFX: Clink

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SFX: Fump Fump

SFX: Rrriiiiiip
SFX: Rriiiiiiiiiipp

Saves a Fox: Don't move! Keep as still as you can!

Kobold: Ah!
Kobold: Ah!
SFX: Riiip

Kobold: Aaaah!
Kobold: No! Stop!

Kobold: Please! Help me!

Kobold: Naaaah!

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Piss Off I Hava Headache: Dies, Fox is going to fall!! Use your hand to grab her!

Dies Horribly: I can't! The hand only makes sharp blades!

SFX: Rrrriiiiiiiiipp

Saves a Fox: Aah!

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SFX: Sh-Ching

Saves a Fox: Nyaaa!

[Krulle]

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Complains of Names: Huff
Complains of Names: Huff
Poster: We a.. ..ntrol
Poster: ..d hu..oids
SFX: Ccrcr
SFX: Crrcr

SFX: .rccrcrrccrc.

Poster: We a...
Poster: are civ...
Complains of Names: Rrrrrrr

Complains of Names: rrrrrrrrraaaaaa!
Poster: We are in control
SFX: Clang

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Complains of Names: Aaah!
SFX: Scaaaape
Poster: We are in control
Poster: ..manoids

Poster: We are in contro.

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SFX: Thump

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Complains of Names: Raaah!

SFX: Ca-Clang

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Complains of Names: Gah!
SFX: Sshiiinggg

SFX: Ca-Click

[Krulle]

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Complains of Names: Raaah!

SFX: Ca-Clang

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Complains of Names: Gah!
SFX: Sshiiinggg

SFX: Ca-Click

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Sergeant Bremick: I know all your moves, Goblin. Watching you fight has given me a great circumstance bonus against you.

Complains of Names: Here's a move you haven't seen.

SFX: Shiing

Sergeant Bremick: Huh?

Complains of Names: Graaaa!

Sergeant Bremick: Nyuh!
SFX: Shlink

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Sergeant Bremick: Aahg!

Sergeant Bremick: Aaah!
Sergeant Bremick: Aa!

Complains of Names: Graaaaaa!

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SFX: Thump

Sergeant Bremick: Sergeant Marwood! Help me!

Sergeant Bremick: For godsake help m...
SFX: Thump

Sergeant Bremick: Sergeant Marwood!

Sergeant Marwood: ...uh...

Sergeant Marwood: Wha?

Thaco: Nnn!

Sergeant Bremick: Anyone!
Sergeant Bremick: Someone get it off me!

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SFX: Shlunk
Elite Guard: Uh!

[Krulle]

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Sergeant Bremick: Aaah!

Sergeant Marwood: Aaah!

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Complains of Names: Uh!

Sergeant Bremick: Now I got you, Goblin!

Sergeant Bremick: Now you're dead!

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SFX: Clunk

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SFX: Clank

Poster: ..d ..m...

Lifepoints Sergeant Marwood: -2
Complains of Names: Huff
Complains of Names: Huff
Complains of Names: Huff
Poster: ...ilised ..manoids

Sergeant Bremick: What...
Sergeant Bremick: ...what the hell are you?

Lifepoints Sergeant Marwood: -2
Poster: ..ed ..ma...
SFX: Thuk Thuk Thuk Thuk

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Poster: ...d ..m...
Complains of Names: Graaaaaaaaaa!

[Krulle]

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Lifepoints Sergeant Marwood: -3
Poster: ..lised ..manoids

Lifepoints Sergeant Marwood: -3
Poster: ..lised ..manoids

Elite Guard: Sergeant Bremick! We're getting wiped out! We have to...

Elite Guard: ...

Elite Guard: Gah!

Complains of Names: Graaaaa!

Elite Guard: Aah!
SFX: Crunch
SFX: Rip
Elite Guard: Gah!

Elite Guard: Sergeant help!
SFX: Crack
SFX: Ca-Crack

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SFX: Thunk Thunk Thunk Thunk Thunk

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SFX: Foom

SFX: Thump

Big Ears: Hang on Thaco, I'm on my way!

SFX: Thork

Big Ears: Naaah!

Big Ears: The Axe. Oh Gods no. The axe is coming.

Big Ears: Thaco! Saral Caine is coming!

Thaco: The Goblinslayer is probably with him!

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Thaco: If they get here, we're dead for sure.
SFX: Snap

Big Ears: Then one of us has to...

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Big Ears: ...to lead them away.

Thaco: Ears, get back here!

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Thaco: Big Ears!

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SFX: Click

Thaco: Ears!

[Krulle]

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Big Ears: Huff

Big Ears: Nnnn

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Big Ears: Uh

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Saral Caine: Do me a favour, Goblin...

Saral Caine: ...try not to die too quickly.
Saral Caine: It's been awhile since I've seen battle and I could use the exercise.

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SFX: Clung

Big Ears: Oof!

SFX: Fwup

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SFX: Cliiinng

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SFX: Shiiinng

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SFX: Crunch

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SFX: Crunch

Big Ears: Coff
Big Ears: Gasp

Saral Caine: I asked you for one favour and you couldn't even give me that.

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SFX: Carunch

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Big Ears: Gasp

SFX: Cliiinng

[Krulle]

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Saral Caine (thinking): Blood. This Goblin has been busy.

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1057 winters ago...

A demon of furious power ripped its way out of the seventh layer of hell and into this, the prime material plane. The creature sought to scrape the life from this realm and claim it as a hell pocket for the seventh layer.

To protect this realm, a group of high level, holy guardians gathered to destroy the demon. This group, consisting of eighty one paladins and twenty two clerics, battled the evil beast in what is now known as the War Crater. At the end of the day, the demon still stood, yet only nine paladins and one cleric had survived.

The remaining protectors decided that if the demon could not be destroyed or banished, then it would have to be imprisoned. Using secret and even forbidden magics, a powerful prison was forged. In the fight to trap the unholy creature, all but one paladin were slain. However, the demon was successfully contained.

When the protectors had created the unique prison, they knew that in order for the powerful magics to continue being strong enough to hold onto an angry pseudo deity, the prison itself would have to be doused in selfless, good deeds on a near constant basis. It was for this reason that at its creation, the prison was given the form of a powerful, enchanted axe. A tool meant for use only by paladins. For only a paladin would always use the axe for good and thereby keep the prison strong and the demon safely contained.

It was predicted that if this vital weapon were to lay dormant and unused or even worse, be used for evil, it would take only thirteen passings of the moon before the power of the axe would weaken to the point where the dreaded demon would break free and destroy our realm. Due to this fact, the careful design of the axe was such that it would amplify the demons evil as it radiated from the weakening prison. It was hoped that this increasing sense of evil would draw other paladins to the axe like moths drawn to a flame. Then perhaps, the weapon would fall into worthier hands before it was too late.

Because the axe was created as a paladin's tool, it was enchanted in such a way that it could never be used against that class of warrior. The axe would always pass harmlessly through any paladin like a ghost drifting through a castle wall. There was only one way for the axe to be solid for a paladin and that were if he wished it so.

Although the axe was a mighty weapon for anyone who would wield it, its full power could only be unleashed by a paladin and only a paladin would become aware of the axe's purpose, history and abilities as soon as he came in contact with it, whether corporeal or not.


"And so shall the evil be not destroyed, but contained. Weakened by courage, imprisoned by valor."

-Thus was born the Axe of Prissan.

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Big Ears: You killed a paladin, didn't you?

Big Ears: You murdered her and stole her axe.
SFX: Shiiinng

Saral Caine: You step away from that axe, Goblin! That's mine!

Big Ears: You have no idea how close you came to destroying this realm with your crimes!

Saral Caine: That is my axe!

Big Ears: I'm not worthy, but I'm the only paladin here.

Big Ears: And so...

Big Ears: ...I claim this axe as my own.

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Saral Caine: What...?

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Saral Caine: No!

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Saral Caine: That...
Saral Caine: ..is...

Saral Caine: ...my axe!

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SFX: Fawoommm

Big Ears: Then come and get it.

[Krulle]

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Piss Off I Hava Headache: Great work, Dies! You saved Saves a Fox!

Piss Off I Hava Headache: Except you...
Piss Off I Hava Headache: ...you know...
Piss Off I Hava Headache: ...stabbed her.

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Piss Off I Hava Headache: A lot.

Piss Off I Hava Headache: Now pull her up, nice and smooth!
Dies Horribly: It doesn't work that way! I can only snap the blade back and if I do that, she'll fall!

Piss Off I Hava Headache: Well we've got to do something, she's about to...

Piss Off I Hava Headache: Oh I don't believe it.

Saves a Fox: Uh!

Piss Off I Hava Headache: Just a little further, Fox! Try to reach my hand!

Saves a Fox: Hava, I threw up.
Piss Off I Hava Headache: That's okay.

Saves a Fox: Hava, I threw up hit points.

Piss Off I Hava Headache: Fox!
Lifepoints Saves a Fox: -1

[Krulle]

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Piss Off I Hava Headache: Dies!

Lifepoints Saves a Fox: -2
Piss Off I Hava Headache: Grab her! Do something!

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SFX: Ca-Crunch

K'seliss: Raar!

SFX: Cra-Snap

SFX: Rrruuuuumm

SFX: mmmbllllllleeee
SFX: Tiing

SFX: rrrrrrrruuuuu

SFX: uuuuuumm
Dies Horribly: Nooo!

SFX: mmmmmmmmmm
Lifepoints Saves a Fox: -3
SFX: Sh-Ching

SFX: bbbblllllllleeee
Lifepoints Saves a Fox: -3

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SFX: rrrrrrrrrrruuuuuu
Piss Off I Hava Headache: Nnn!

SFX: uuuuummmmmmm
SFX: Ka-Ting

SFX: mbbbbbblllllllllee
Lifepoints Saves a Fox: -3
SFX: Crack
Dies Horribly: Aah! My shoulder!

SFX: rrrrrrrrruuuuuuuu
Lifepoints Saves a Fox: -4
Piss Off I Hava Headache: Hah!

SFX: uummmmmmmmmm
Lifepoints Saves a Fox: -4

SFX: mmmmmmbbbbllll
Lifepoints Saves a Fox: -4

SFX: rrrrruuuuummmm
Lifepoints Saves a Fox: -4

SFX: mmmmbbbllllleee
Lifepoints Saves a Fox: -4

Lifepoints Saves a Fox: -4

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Lifepoints Saves a Fox: -5

[Krulle]

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ViperGoblin: Viper!

ViperGoblinette: Just hang on, Drig. The healing potions are making their rounds.
ViperGoblin: I'm here! I'm here!
Lifepoints Drig: -3

ViperGoblin: There are two more Hobgoblins over there!
ViperGoblin: It's okay, Grem's got 'em. I swear, on a good day, that Goblin could battle the Gods themselves.
Lifepoints Drig: -3

SFX: Slikk

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SFX: Swikk

Riss: Settle down, K'seliss, or I'll hit you with spells that you've only heard about in song!

K'seliss: Don't give me that crap, Riss! Everyone knows that tellers only have access to low level cleric spells!

K'seliss: I've eaten real clerics who could kill you as a free action!

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Dies Horribly: Huff
Dies Horribly: Huff
Lifepoints Saves a Fox: -8

Lifepoints Saves a Fox: -8
SFX: Sh-Ching

Dies Horribly: Oh no...
Dies Horribly: Huff
Dies Horribly: Someone give me some cloth so I can bind Fox's...

Grem: Fox!

Grem: Outta the way!

Lifepoints Saves a Fox: -9

Saves a Fox: Gasp!

Grem: Ack!

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Saves a Fox: Where's Hava?

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Grem: A lot of good Goblins died during this battle.

Saves a Fox: Huuh!

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Saves a Fox: Ahaa!

Saves a Fox: Aah!
Saves a Fox: Huff
Saves a Fox: Ah!

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[Krulle]

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SFX: Craang

SFX: Clunk
Big Ears: Ah!

Big Ears: Uh!

Big Ears (magic): Lay on h...

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Big Ears: Aaah!

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SFX: Clunk

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SFX: Cliinng

SFX: Shiiinng

SFX: Cliiinng

SFX: Shiiinng

Saral Caine: How many times do I have to kill you before you die!?

Saral Caine: Aaaah!

SFX: Chu-Cliiinng

[Krulle]

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Saral Caine: Gaaaaa!

SFX: Shiiinng

Big Ears (magic): Lay on hands!

Saral Caine: I'll crush you into a paste!

Saral Caine: So you got your hands on a magic axe! You think that's enough to beat me? You're still just a Goblin!
Big Ears: Nnnnnaaaah!

Saral Caine: And I'm still Saral...

SFX: Shlikk
Saral Caine: ...CaiAaack!

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SFX: Shlukk

Saral Caine: Coff

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SFX: Shuk-
SFX: Cliiinng


Big Ears: Huff
Big Ears: Huff

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[Krulle]

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Big Ears: Are you guys alright? I had to use my Lay on Hands ability to heal some of my own wounds, but I can still...

Thaco: It's okay.
Thaco: Chief healed a lot of our damage already.

Big Ears: Oh. Okay good.
Big Ears: Did you guys hit level three as well?

Thaco: Yeah.
Chief: Yeah, we figure that we must be getting bonus XP for entereing the city or something.
Complains of Names: Um...

Complains of Names: ...I don't...

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Big Ears: Let's go get Vorpal.

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Chief: Paladins get the best stuff at third level.
Complains of Names: No kidding.

[Krulle]

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Chief: Hey.

Chief: Hey wait a second.

Chief: His belt has the symbol from our clan's crown! But that's not possible! This has always been our crown and there has always been only one! Why would someone way out in Brassmoon be wearing...

Thaco, Complains of Names, or Big Ears: Chief, c'mon!

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Complains of Names: So is it me or did that whole battle seem way too easy?
Thaco: Easy?

Complains of Names: Gahah!
Complains of Names: Are you insane?!

Complains of Names: Y'know, it is possible to make your point without jabbing at my wounds!

Big Ears: Those were untrained guards, not yet meant for battle.
Big Ears: Maybe 1/4 challenge rating each.

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Complains of Names: So? Aren't we 1/4 challenge rating?
Chief: Since 3.5 edition, we're 1/3. Plus more, when you factor in our adventurer levels.

Complains of Names: Well then I guess that explains it. We won because our collective challenge rating was higher than theirs.
Thaco: Oh really.

Complains of Names: Of course. It all comes down to basic math.
Thaco: Then how was Ears able to defeat Saral Caine? Saral's challenge rating was much higher.

Thaco: There's always going to be an element of chaos in every battle. Sure, the challenge rating states who is more powerful, but there are uncalculated variables shifting in and out of any situation. Quick thinking and good use of your surroundings can cause an unlikely victory.

Chief: If it was only about levels and challenge ratings, then there would be no wars. Each army would add up its total challenge rating and the side with the lowest total would simply give up and go home, because they'd know that there would be no way for them to win.

Thaco: Your father used to say that.

Chief: I know

SFX: Chkclak
SFX: Rattle

SFX: Creeeeeeee
Thaco: Well I'll be damned. The keys work.

Thaco: Alright Goblins, listen up. Apparently, almost all of the elite guards are in the sewers looking for what they believe to be a Goblin army. Which means this place is practically deserted and we are luckier than the Gods.

Thaco: So if we're quick and quiet, we might be able to grab Fumbles and get out of here without any more problems.
Thaco: Let's go.

[Krulle]

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Grem: I don't like this. I don't like how we're doing this.
Riss: Sigh. Yes Grem, you've said this a number of times.

Duv, the White Terror: Well? Have they agreed to it yet?

Riss: Yes Chieftess. They're selecting armour and weapons for themselves now.
Duv, the White Terror: Good. Take me to them.

Riss: Saves a Fox and the newcomer agreed after I explained to them that if they didn't bring us the Orb, we would burn the other slave tents with the slaves still in them.
Duv, the White Terror: And how did you get K'seliss to go? It's not like he cares if we start burning slaves.

Riss: I simply told him that if he brought us the Orb, he could go free.
Duv, the White Terror: You didn't mention that he's destined to die in that dungeon crawl?
Riss: i didn't see the need.

Grem: Mother, let me enter the Well of Darkness with them. It's my duty to the clan.
Duv, the White Terror: Your duty to the clan is to obey me, Grem. besides...

Duv, the White Terror: ...it looks to me like they're ready to take on any challenge.

Saves a Fox: I'll get you your Orb Duv, and when I do...

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Saves a Fox: ...I'll shove it so far up your...

Duv, the White Terror: Saves a Fox, when you disrespect me, you betray your own bloodline.

Duv, the White Terror: I am the White Terror. The winged Goblin chosen by our God to rule us all and as such, you should be willing to make any sacrifice I ask for.

Grem: She lost a close friend today. Can't we at least give her some time to grieve?
Duv, the White Terror: The Hobgoblin attack is just another reminder of why we need to get the Orb of Bloodlight as soon as we can.

Duv, the White Terror: Now the three of you get going. Bring me the Orb and everyone goes free.

Duv, the White Terror: Fail and all the slaves die.

K'seliss: Whatever. Let's just get this over with.

Dies Horribly: I... I can't... no. I know I said I would, but... I can't...

Saves a Fox: Dies, it'll be okay.
Dies Horribly: You don't understand. Dungeon crawls are always made by some mad wizard or something and they're always trying to kill you in some bizarre way and it's my destiny to...

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Saves a Fox: Destinies can be overcome.

Saves a Fox: Here is the proof.

Saves a Fox: I promise you that I will not let you die in there.

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SFX: Klik

[Krulle]

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Dellyn Goblinslayer: How can Goblins burn down my house without a soul witnessing it?
Badge: Goblin Slayer
Elite guard: Well sir, we still don't know for sure it was Goblins.

Dellyn Goblinslayer: And how the hell did they know where I lived?! And where's Saral Caine?! I swear, he and I are the only ones around here who...

Elite guard: Captain Goblinslayer! Before you come this way there's something you should... well...

Elite guard: ...maybe you should sit down.
Badge: Goblin Slayer

Badge: Goblin Slayer

Badge: Gobli. Sla...

Badge: Goblin Slayer

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Dellyn Goblinslayer: Haw!
Badge: Goblin Slayer

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Badge: Gob... Sl....

Dellyn Goblinslayer: Nnnn!

Elite guard: Sir, there's uh... There's something else I think you should see.
Badge: Gobli.. Sla...

Elite guard: They're using hit and run tactics. We think there were between fifty and eighty Goblins involved in this attack.
Badge: Gob... Sl....

Elite Guard: As you can see, all of this happened very recently.
Badge: Goblin Slayer

Dellyn Goblinslayer: Where are the Goblin bodies?
Elite guard: Sir?
Badge: Goblin Slayer

Dellyn Goblinslayer: Private, are you trying to tell me that during this entire battle, not a single Goblin fell?

Elite guard: Captain, we have a survivor!
Badge: Goblin Slayer

Elite guard: You're going to be okay, sergeant. A cleric will be here soon. In the meantime, try not to move or you could start bleeding again.
Lifepoints sergeant Marwood: -9

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Elite guard: Looks like he stabilized just before death. He should be okay if we're gentle with...
Lifepoints sergeant Marwood: -9
Badge: Goblin Slayer

Dellyn Goblinslayer: How many of them were there?! A hundred?! Two hundred?! What clan were they?! What did they look like?!
Lifepoints sergeant Marwood: -9

Lifepoints sergeant Marwood: -9

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Lifepoints sergeant Marwood: -9

Lifepoints sergeant Marwood: -10

Elite guard: Sir? What is it? What did he say?
Badge: Gobl.. Slay..

Poster: We are in c...

Poster: .. in control

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SFX (Dellyn Goblinslayer screaming): Thaaacooooooooo!

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Thaco: Let's keep moving.

[Krulle]

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Dies Horribly: Wow!

Dies Horribly: How can the torches be lit?
Saves a Fox: Probably magic.

Saves a Fox: Alright, listen up, you two. The first rule in dungeon delving is "Don't touch anything"!

Saves a Fox: I'm serious! All it takes is one idiot to touch the wrong thing and suddenly we're falling into a spiked pit trap!

Saves a Fox: Anything could be trapped. So be smart, listen to me and we may just survive...

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K'seliss: What!

[Krulle]

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Grem: Be more careful, K'seliss....

Grem: ...I don't want to make this place my tomb.

Saves a Fox: We don't need your help, Viper, get out!
Dies Horribly: Duv said you weren't supposed to come in here. How did you get past the guards at the tunnel entrance?

Grem: I'm the future chief of this clan. If I tell the guards to take a walk, they do.

Dies Horribly: You mean no one is guarding the entrance?! But what if more Hobgoblins or some other enemy...
Grem: Oh give it a rest, Dies Horribly. I'm getting really tired of your cowardice.

Grem: I mean, take two rounds and think about what you're afraid of. Nothing is going to attack us through that tunnel. And even if it did, it'd have to fight through all three of us before it could touch you! You're being...

SFX: Whooosh
SFX: Klik Klik
SFX: Klik

SFX: Clunk
SFX: Sh-Ching
SFX: Klik

SFX: Klik
SFX: Klik Klik

SFX: Klik Klik
Dies Horribly: Klik! You found me! I thought you were lost forever! Ha ha!
SFX: Klik

SFX: Klik Klik
Saves a Fox: Is it...
Saves a Fox: ...friendly?
SFX: Klik
Grem: What is it?

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K'seliss: So first I gotta put up with the Goblin prince and now we're letting in non-edible party members?

K'seliss: Screw this. You guys are on your own. I'm going to get that Orb.

Grem: K'seliss wait! We haven't checked out those two statues yet! They could be dangerous!

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Dies Horribly: That's not good.

SFX: Fa-Wump
SFX: Klik
SFX: Sh-Ching

Noe: The torches have been crossed and so I am summoned once more.

Noe: Welcome...
Noe: ...to the Well of Darkness.

[Krulle]

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Thaco: This might be the right way. Wait. No. I'm not sure.
Complains of Names: Thaco, you haven't been sure for twenty minutes now.

Thaco: Well it's not like they gave me a guided tour when I was a prisoner here.
Complains of Names: What about the door we passed earlier, marked "master key room"?

Thaco: That just holds the keys to the dungeons, it's of no use to us.
Complains of Names: Yeah, but maybe there's a map in there.

Thaco: Maybe there are fifty guards in there.
Complains of Names, Big Ears, or Chief: Actually, where are the guards? We heard one of them scream Thaco's name, but none of them are coming after us.

Thaco: Yeah, that makes me nervous too. They have to know that we're down here, so what are they waiting for?

Complains of Names: Hey, aren't these the grates that we were underneath?

Big Ears: Yes!
Big Ears: This is it! We made it!

Guard Hagrid: No.

Guard Hagrid: You haven't.

SFX: Ca-Clunk

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SFX: Creeeeeee

Owlbear Fluffles: Rooo-Aaah!
SFX (Guard Hagrid laughing): Ha! Ha! Ha!

Owlbear Fluffles: Ah!
Owlbear Fluffles: Aah!

SFX: Shiinng
SFX: Ca-Click
SFX: Fawoommm

Owlbear Fluffles: Wooo-Aaaah!

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Guard Hagrid: Aheh
Guard Hagrid: Heh
Guard Hagrid: Heh
Guard Hagrid: Wait.
Guard Hagrid: What?

Owlbear Fluffles: Ah!

Guard Hagrid: Aw no.

► Show Spoiler

Guard Hagrid: No!
Guard Hagrid: Nononono!

Guard Hagrid: Get away from me!
Owlbear Fluffles: Rooo-Aah!

Guard Hagrid: No! Please!

Guard Hagrid: Gahh!

Guard Hagrid: Nahaaah!

Guard Hagrid: Oh Gods no!

SFX: Crack
SFX: Riiip

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Big Ears: Vorpal!

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Big Ears, or Chief: No.
Complains of Names: But...
Chief, or Big Ears: Oh no.

[Krulle]

► Show Spoiler

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Dellyn Goblinslayer (flashback in Thaco's mind): Bleed for me, Thaco.

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Thaco: You upgraded your equipment, you son of a bitch.
Complains of Names: Maybe we made a mistake. Maybe this is the wrong room.

Big Ears: This is the right room.

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► Show Spoiler

Chief: Hey!
Chief: Guys, look at this!

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Sergeant Greyless: Sir, we were successful in relocating the Goblin prisoner before he was found.
Badge: Gob...

Dellyn Goblinslayer: And what of the execution announcement?
Sergeant Greyless: A copy of the announcement was left in the room. The Goblin invaders should have no trouble seeing it.

Sergeant Greyless: As we speak, the city's scribes are writing more copies of it. They assure me that they'll have at least seventy-five copies before this afternoon is over, at which point we will post them everywhere.
Badge: Goblin

Sergeant Greyless: And with so many civilians terrified of a possible Goblin attack, I suspect that the entire city will be at this Goblin's execution when it happens tomorrow morning.
Badge: Gob...

Dellyn Goblinslayer: Not the entire city. I've arranged for the mayor's standard city guards to be away from the front courtyard during the execution.
Badge: ...in Slayer

Dellyn Goblinslayer: I don't know why this Goblin is so valuable to these invaders, but if they're willing to enter my dungeons to get to him, then they'll attack the courtyard tomorrow morning to try and stop his execution.
Badge: Gobli. Slaye.

Dellyn Goblinslayer: Once Thaco and his army attack a courtyard packed with innocent peasants, my elite guards will be there to crush the Goblins and save Brassmoon City. The mayor will be inspired to disband his guards and replace them with mine.
Badge: Gobli. Sla...

Dellyn Goblinslayer: Making me the captain of the guard of Brassmoon.
Sergeant Greyless: Then it's true?
Sergeant Greyless: The legendary Thaco the Goblin has returned seeking vengeance?

► Show Spoiler

Dellyn Goblinslayer: Legendary?
SFX: Thump
Badge: Goblin Slayer

Sergeant Greyless: Well... the rumour have been spreading and all the men are talking...
Dellyn Goblinslayer: Do you know what makes someone legendary?

Dellyn Goblinslayer: It's how badly your enemies want to kill you. The Goblins of this realm would sacrifice anything for a chance at my throat. They all want to be the one to kill the mighty Goblinslayer because I am one of the greatest heroes this world has ever seen.
Dellyn Goblinslayer: When I do die, the evil creatures of this land will rejoice. That's what makes me a legend.
Badge: Goblin Slayer

Dellyn Goblinslayer: Low level monsters cannot be legends.
Sergeant Greyless: Well I just meant that Thaco is the only monster to successfully escape your dungeons and so...

Sergeant Greyless: ...
Badge: Goblin Slaye.

SFX: Thwump
Dellyn Goblinslayer: Thaco is currently in the city, is he not?! I am going to kill him tomorrow, yes?! Therefore, his escape is a failure!

Dellyn Goblinslayer: And when the whole city watches me kill him, they will forget his accomplishments and forget his name and I will once again be compared to perfection.
Badge: Go...

Dellyn Goblinslayer: I will kill him for what he's done to my status and my home. I will kill him for Saral Caine.

Dellyn Goblinslayer: I would sacrifice anything for a chance at his throat.
Badge: Gobl.. Slay..

[Krulle]

► Show Spoiler

Elite guard: All that time spent trudging through the sewers and we didn't find nothing!
Elite guard: Those Goblins know how to hide, that's for sure.

Elite guard: What are you guys standing around for?!
Elite guard: What?
Elite guard: Haven't you heard? One of the prisoners is loose!

Owlbear Fluffles: Roo-Aah!
Elite guard: Watch it's claws!
Cell number: 114
Cell number: 113

Owlbear Fluffles: Ah!
Elite guard: Where are the halberds? Someone get some longer weapons over here!
Owlbear Fluffles: Ah!
Cell number: 112

Elite guard: Hrrraaa!
Cell number: 113

SFX: Shunk

SFX: Shu-Clish
Elite guard: Gakk!
Owlbear Fluffles: Ah!

Elite guard: I said watch the claws!
Elite guard: Keep your distance, men!

SFX: Smash
Cell number: 115
Badge: Goblin Slayer

► Show Spoiler

Cell number: 116
Badge: Gobl.. Slay..

Cell number: 116
Badge: Gobl.. Sla..

Cell number: 116
Badge: ..blin .layer

SFX: Crick
Cell number: 116
Badge: Goblin Slayer

Cell number: 116
Badge: Goblin Slayer

Cell number: 116
Badge: Gobli. Slaye.

Cell number: 116
Badge: Gobl.. Slay..


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SFX: Fwip
Owlbear Fluffles: Ah!

SFX: Clunng
Lifepoints Owlbear Fluffles: -2
Owlbear Fluffles: Gasp!
Owlbear Fluffles: Coff

Dellyn Goblinslayer: No one kill him. You there, through the door just around this corner are some bandages. Get some and bind his wounds. Quickly.
Elite guard: Yes sir.
Lifepoints Owlbear Fluffles: -2
Owlbear Fluffles: Huff
Owlbear Fluffles: Huff

► Show Spoiler

Dellyn Goblinslayer: You two, go get one of the large stretchers and use it to take the beast to a class three cell.
Elite guard: Yes sir.
Badge: Gob... Slay..

Elite guard: What? But sir, aren't we going to kill it?
Dellyn Goblinslayer: Not yet.
Dellyn Goblinslayer: This creature killed some of my men and for that I'm going to keep it alive for three, maybe four months of constant, intense pain.
Badge: Goblin Slayer

Dellyn Goblinslayer: You. Finish up and come with me. We have to gather everyone and prepare for tomorrow.
Badge: Gobli. Slaye.
Lifepoints Owlbear Fluffles: -3

Elite guard: You hear that, monster?! The captain's gonna make you scream for months! And we won't let you die for a very long time!

Elite guard: C'mon man, let's just get that stretcher.

Cell number: 112
Lifepoints Owlbear Fluffles: -3
Owlbear Fluffles: Huff
Owlbear Fluffles: Huff

Lifepoints Owlbear Fluffles: -3
Owlbear Fluffles: Huff

Lifepoints Owlbear Fluffles: -3

SFX: Snap

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[Krulle]

► Show Spoiler

Announcer: Good citizens of Brassmoon! We are here this morning to witness justice!

Announcer: As you all know by now, an evil Goblin warlord was allowed to sneak into our peaceful city! This is because the basic city guards, as brave as they are, are simply not trained in the proper techniques of dealing with the vile monsters that plague this realm!

Announcer: Once inside our city, this Goblin predator sought out and found a group of innocent children playing in the streets! It then tried to attack and devour them! Were it not for our elite guards, the beast would have succeeded!

Announcer: We are forever thankful that captain Dellyn Goblinslayer, the greatest ranger in the realm, has dedicated his life to protecting our fair city by creating the elite guard!

Sergeant Morris: Sir?
Dellyn Goblinslayer: Dammit, he was supposed to call me a heroic saviour.
Sergeant Morris: Sir, we have left the south end of the courtyard undefended as you ordered. If the Goblins attack, it'll be from that direction.

[Krulle]

► Show Spoiler

Sergeant Morris: However, with the crowd as thick as it is, the civilian casualities will be high.
Dellyn Goblinslayer: Good, we'll be teaching these peasants a lesson by giving them a taste of the death and destruction they'd always face if it weren't for our presence.

Announcer: And now, in accordance with the laws of our good city, I bring you the just execution of that unnatural creature!

Announcer: Still wearing the cruel armour of its mighty clan, this monster takes pleasure only in the pain of others!
Cart front: GS
Cart left side: And he shall keep us safe _____ ...linslayer

Cart front. .S
Cart left side: And he shall ..us safe ___ ...yer
Announcer: Do not be fooled by its size, good citizens!

Announcer: A Goblin can tear the head off a child in a single round!

Announcer: And for that reason, I urge all mothers to keep their young ones back!

Announcer: We will show these monsters that we will not tolerate unprovoked attacks on our city!

► Show Spoiler

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Fumbles: Mmmm!

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Fumbles: Ah!
Fumbles: Ahuh

Barkeeper: Rot in hell, Goblin!

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SFX: Crack
Fumbles: Uuh!

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SFX: Cra-Snap
Fumbles: Aah!
Fumbles: Aha!

► Show Spoiler

Barkeeper: Ptui!
Elite guard: Alright now...

Elite guard: ...that's enough.

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[Krulle]

► Show Spoiler

Elite guard: C'mon Goblin, get up!

Big Ears: Alright guys, what's the plan?

Thaco: We went over this, Ears. The plan was to come out here and see if there might be some way to rescue Fumbles, and if we couldn't find a way...

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Thaco: ...then we give him the respect of being here during his death.
Thaco: Because that's all we can do.
Big Ears: Right. So what's the plan?

Thaco: Sigh
Thaco: Ears...
Big Ears: I don't want to hear it Thaco. I turned my back on him in the sewers and I'm not going to do it again now.

Chief: Big Ears, none of us want to lose Fumbles, but this whole thing has become so much bigger than the four of us. There's nothing we can...

Big Ears: Why did we take adventurer classes?! Wasn't it so we could protect our kind? Stand up against our enemies?

Complains of Names: Against a party of adventurers, sure, but there is a freakin' army over there waiting for us!

► Show Spoiler

Big Ears: But there has to be something we can do. I mean, we have these magic items now. We're third level.

Big Ears: Thaco, what about you? Can't monks catch arrows or deflect them with their hands or something?

Big Ears: Maybe if you...
Thaco: One arrow. I can deflect one arrow per round, Ears.

Thaco: There are five hundred crossbows on that wall!

Complains of Names: Why don't you yell a little louder so the Humans can hear us?!

Elite guard: I said move it, Goblin!
Fumbles: Oof!

Chief: Complains...
Complains of Names: I can't watch this.
Complains of Names: Just leave me alone.

Thaco: Ears, blindly throwing yourself into the fires of hell...
Big Ears: "won't stop others from burning" you've already said this.

Thaco: I know you want to rush out and try to save him. So do I, but now is the time to quiet your heart and listen to your head.

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SFX: Ca-Click

Big Ears: Maybe.
Big Ears: Maybe you're right.

► Show Spoiler

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Thaco: No!

Complains of Names: Grrrrrrraaaa

Complains of Names: aaaaaaaa!

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