The Goblins Fan Forum

Granted. You think you're rigging the lottery, but instead you just get an automated junk call.

I wish it weren't against city ordinances for me to raise chickens in my backyard.

Granted! The government collapses and anarchy reigns supreme over the land.

I wish... to become an all powerful genie.

Your wish is granted... PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER!!! itty bitty living space!!!

I wish I wasn't addicted to itty-bitty flying things!


mnem
No, thanks; it's bad for my teeth.

Now you're addicted to really big flying things that are much harder to catch, and the withdrawal symptoms are even worse.

I wish I could go to sleep at a regular hour each night.

Your wish is granted. Every night, the neighbor's garden gnomes sneak in at 10:17 on the dot and club you over the head with lawn jockey. You are somehow inexplicably ALWAYS in your bed at that time, and NEVER see them. The lawn jockey, however, smirks at you every morning when you leave the house.

I wish I knew how to make R/C modeling into a career.


mnem
Aside from that.

You become the first erotic RC modeler selling your body and models for money! You are the first... maybe... I think? I am a bit to scared to google that.

I wish to erase all witches from existence before they're even born. Every witch in the universe, from the past and the future, with my own hands!

Your wish is granted; the village of Salem fades into obscurity and half the herbal knowledge of the ancients is never learned.

As a result, Digitalis is never invented, and neither is Aspirin. Since you don't know which witch is which, you also erase 3 prominent witches from your own family history; thereby pretty much guaranteeing you will never be born. The resultant existential paradox places you in a state of superposition, both existing and never existing. You learn firsthand that Schr├Âdinger's Cat is really named Steve, even though Schr├Âdinger told you it was Momo.

I wish I knew what frogs are thinking.


mnem
It is TOO easy being green. TOO easy.

You can now hear the strange words of the frogs. "Sitting, I am sitting." "Eat, i want to eat." "I ate." "I like female." "I am mating female." "I mated female."
You can hear short phrases lake that going all throughout the night, it is not horrific or life changing, however, it is kind of annoying.

I wish to be skilled enough to create in a decent amount of time, an amazing original game with good clean morals, that children and young adults around the world will enjoy and grow up remembering fondly.

Hahaha, trubbol!

You create a game that turns out like this one from my childhood. Your game, like Bible Adventures, is remembered fondly as an absurdity to be laughed at.

I love cheese, and I wish I could eat it without having to worry about raising my cholesterol.

Congratulations! You now have a never-before-seen disease which causes your blood pressure to skyrocket instead whenever you eat cheese. You invest heavily in Tylenol and Motrin.


I wish for badunka-dunk. With coleslaw.


mnem
"Here lies Bump Bear and a side of Slaw."

You get it, but the coleslaw tastes horrible.

I wish I couldn't get sunburns.

You now live permanently underground.

I wish I could live happily ever after.

You live happily for the rest of your life. You die in 43 seconds.

I wish I didn't have to wait so long for the games I love to update. I'm impatient.

You die in 44 seconds. You no longer have to wait for anything. 3 seconds later, an agent for Sprint knocks on the door, asking if you want to sign up for free Fiber Internet Service.

I wish I wasn't addicted to building little flying things.


mnem
Do they have a patch for that?

You are no longer addicted to building little flying things. You now compulsively collect big floating things.

I wish I had a pussy cat.

You do, but it's really mean and tries to scratch you all the time.

I wish money grew on trees.

Boom! All oak trees now grow greenbacks instead of leaves. If the confederacy had won the war, they might even be worth something.
Sadly, all oak trees now die because greenbacks do not support photosynthesis.

I wish I was a famous singer.

Congrats, you are now William Hung, famous for his terrible rendition of She Bangs. You are now so famous you will be made fun of for the rest of your life.

I wish I could have any superpower I wanted.

You now may wish for a superpower and it will be granted. However, you will irreversibly and non-negotiably look one year older with every passing day, and experience all the effects of aging, until you die from an unnatural cause (accident, murder, illness). The good news: if you spend the rest of your days in an airtight coffin, you will live forever. You're welcome!

I wish I was normal.

You are, but that's boring.

In addition to my last wish, I wish I aged like Patrick Stewart.

Granted, now Patrick Stewart will irreversibly and non-negotiably look one year older with every passing day, and experience all the effects of aging, until he dies.

I wish that nobody will notice I copy/pasted from the granting of your last wish.

Wish granted. Now nobody can see the granting of my last wish, so then have no idea what you're talking about.

I wish I had an ice cream sundae.

You had an ice cream sundae, once when you were a little kid. It was delicious. Nothing will ever compare to the lingering memory of that ice cream sundae. Nothing. It haunts you till the end of days.


I wish the end of days was this Friday.

Granted. The end of days is this friday. The end of nights is never, so I hope you enjoy eternal darkness.

I wish I was cold-blooded.

Your blood gets really cold. It freezes you stiff.

I wish I could defrost sam with a flame thrower.