Corrupted Wish Game

[BeanDip]

You find 3 Twenty-Four Karat Gold Bars. You find them in a sunken ship on the ocean floor hundreds of meters below the surface just as your oxygen tank runs out...

I wish that life was more like an adventure game

[mnementh]

You Get your wish. Life continues as usual.


I wish there were no greedy people in positions of power.


mnem
What? There are OODLES of adventure games based on Real Life.

[Davecom3]

Granted. Everybody spends all their time arguing about which country should get the resources that belong to their country, and as an effect, nothing ever gets done.

I wish politicians kept their campaign promises.

[Zathyr]

The politicians keep their campaign promises - all politicians, all their promises, all over the globe. In each and every country anarchy descends as contradictory promises across the board are simultaneously fulfilled. In what countries that manage to still exist (those that no one promised to wipe off the map), governments collapse, the economies soon to follow. Military dictatorships quickly rise to fill the gap, and World War 3 erupts at long last as they clash amongst themselves. Each dictator made their own promises to their people in their rise to power, and they keep them. The dictatorships are unsurprisingly short-lived. Miraculously, humanity survives, in scattered and isolated communities. Community leaders arise, keeping all promises they make in their campaigns. In time they come to comprehend the massive power they wield in their campaign promises, and the small scattered communities grow, clash, splinter, clash. After some long, bloody time passes, humanity at long last wipes itself off the globe, but by that point they are in space, and the process is still underway..


I wish I had some kind of AC-umbrella I could carry around that would blow cool air down at me whenever I wanted.

[BeanDip]

You succeed in creating an AC-umbrella. Unfortunately, the air stream blowing down is strong enough to lift you off and carry you into low orbit. If you hadn't accidentally spilled glue on the handle during construction and then been too lazy to clean it off you might have been able to let go.

I wish he had more emoticons for specific emotions and odd situations

[Zathyr]

Your wish is granted, but as you didn't specify who "he" is, it goes to some random stranger who has no idea why he suddenly has an assortment of weird green big-eared pixelated faces.

I wish you're aware that if you have any specific emoticon requests, there's a thread for it: http://goblinsforum.com/viewtopic.php?f ... &start=150

[BeanDip]

I'm now aware of it but I am also aware that this wish is sort of hard to corrupt. You feel reeeally bad about making me aware of these facts. Also, you are now aware of that sopping meat slab you call a tongue.

I wish that I had written "we" instead of "he" like I had meant to

[Quarg]

Your wish is granted, but on a document in the future...
Essentially changing your statement of testimony into a confession of guilt...
Which is used to convict you of high treason...

Causing you to be hung by the neck until dead.

I wish Zathyr was a mute bunny rabbit...

[kida]

You got you wish, but you become a mute female bunny rabbit.You and Zathyr mate all day like rabbits.

I wish for for fish.

► Show Spoiler

My name is Ish. On my hand I have a dish. I have this dish to help me wish. When I wish to make a wish I wave my hand with a big swish swish. Then I say, I wish for fish! And I get fish right on my dish. Soif you wish to wish a wish, you may swish for fish with my Ish wish dish.

Credit goes to Dr. Seuss

[SamWiser]

You have four fish on your dish. Unfortunately they are guppies.

I wish humans could float.

[mnementh]

Your wish is granted; but you are cursed to spend every day of the rest of your life lashing people together into makeshift rafts for giraffes. Hippopotami are not interested.


I wish there was a lot less bullsh1t in my life. Cowsh1t would still be okay.


mnem
moo, moo, buckaroo.

[BeanDip]

You get your wish. The bulls stop shitting on your life but are now chronically constipated. Everyone is aware that you made this wish and several new jobs are created for "cleaning out" the bulls. The people who hold this job are less then happy with you and leave flaming bags of strongly-worded letters on your frontporch.

I wish that I had unlimited free ice-cream in my flavor of choice

[Nerre]

The global warming is no longer a problem, since the whole world is covered in a 2 km layor of your favourite ice cream. You are frozen somewhere deep inside it, as everybody else is. You just killed most life on earth for ice cream. Cool!

I wish I could control the weather.

[BeanDip]

You can control the weather but only in a 1m by 1m area inside a strip club in Toronto, Canada. Make it rain.

I wish there were more people around to play real tabletop DnD with in my area.

[Davecom3]

Granted. Everybody in your area gets sucked into a fantasy world upon their own tabletops. Given that few people are actually skilled with brawling, fighting with weapons, or disabling traps, and nobody is skilled at casting spells, most of the people in your area die, and as they do your wish continues to expand in effect and everybody on the globe finally gets wiped out, as they're drawn into your area. Nice job with that wish, Bean Dip.

I wish there was a method that people could use to reverse the effects of BeanDip's wish, so that everybody would survive.

[Nerre]

You can control the weather but only in a 1m by 1m area inside a strip club in Toronto, Canada. Make it rain.

Lol. I am the master of wet-tshirts-contests.

I wish there was a method that people could use to reverse the effects of BeanDip's wish, so that everybody would survive.

=> there is, but it is google glasses version 18. It is implanted right into your head and replaces your normal eyes. You only seem to play the game in real life. In reality, the google servers got hacked. By a machine. Have fun, and welcome in the matrix.

I think this was my best one so far.

[mnementh]

*Puts on best Queens truck driver accent*

"Yeah... great job dere, Dorothy."

*Looks at watch & taps the face of it*

"Now, are ya gonna make a wish or somethin', like while we're still young? I don't have all day, and that lamp is an awful crowded commute."


mnem
"And don't forget the air freshener, cupcake."

[SamWiser]

Mnementh, your wish for a wish is granted. Unfortunately you can't see it, and the curiosity starts killing you. As the old saying goes, "Curiosity killed the dwagon."

I wish I could have a conversation with J. R. R. Tolkien.

[Zathyr]

You have a conversation with J.R.R. Tolkien, but he is dead and the only thing his animated remains will say is "braaaiiinnss" no matter what questions you ask. Also he keeps trying to eat your brains, which is annoying.


I wish for this wish to be corrupted.

[BeanDip]

Your wish is corrupted by not being corrupted but that means it is corrupted which means it isn't which means it is which means it isn't which means it *SYSTEM OVERLOAD - PARADOX ABSORBING CRUMPLE ZONE FAILING - ALL systems shutting dooooown.....*

I wish this wish wouldn't kill anyone

[SamWiser]

This wish won't kill any person currently alive today. All the animals are dead though.

I wish I was an amazing musician.

[BeanDip]

You're an amazing musician but everyone in the world has suddenly gone deaf.

I wish that I could find whatever I was looking for whenever I was looking for it

[mnementh]

You get your wish; a Bag of Needful Things appears in your lap. Unfortunately, it is a CURSED Bag of Needful Things; therefore it gives you what you NEED most, not necessarily what you WANT most. Also, it is infested with badgers.


I wish I had a new car.


mnem
And mushrooms. And maybe a snake.

[SamWiser]

I'm not the only person who forgets to wish. Limited time before somebody corrupts it anyway.

[mnementh]

I was thinking of a better wish; but somehow, this one just kept coming back.


mnem
Seahorses can still suck it. Especially Spongebob's seahorse; it's just too cute for it's own good...