Butler, cut me some milk! (Open to all!)

Quarg · Post by **Quarg** » Wed Jan 08, 2014 2:44 pm

Would you prefer I incinerate Mr Meatloaf of his daughter?

Butler, Find me a copy of Loves Labor's Won...

ThroughTheWell · Post by **ThroughTheWell** » Wed Jan 08, 2014 3:39 pm

Days sir, are bottled in this container of sleeping pills. Or, you could read this tedious sleep inducing book that is far inferior to a similar yet better titled one. I can't recommend either the bottle or the requested book, sir.

Butler, pull my finger.

LooksAndSmiles · Post by **LooksAndSmiles** » Wed Jan 08, 2014 4:15 pm

Before or after I remove the whole lower arm, Sir?

Butler, please make the Earth flat.

raaabr · Post by **raaabr** » Wed Jan 08, 2014 4:37 pm

I've just packed down the soil in the garden, sir.

Butler, bring forth a creature that can never die.

BeanDip · Post by **BeanDip** » Wed Jan 08, 2014 4:59 pm

Here you go sir, a creature that never existed in the first place.

Butler, find me a panda that is white-and-black instead of black-and-white!

Quarg · Post by **Quarg** » Wed Jan 08, 2014 5:05 pm

Yes, Here is a poor quality 'Panda' toy made by some China firm...as you can see a black bear with white markings....

Butler, Find me the Fountain of Youth....

raaabr · Post by **raaabr** » Wed Jan 08, 2014 5:09 pm

► Show Spoiler

Would you prefer a latte or a cappuccino, sir?

Butler, stab me!

ThroughTheWell · Post by **ThroughTheWell** » Wed Jan 08, 2014 5:46 pm

Sir, you are of course familiar with laughter, but have you ever asked yourself why we laugh? When you contemplate that fully I believe you shal find that your brain will be experiencing a painful sensation quite like a stabbing.

Butler, support my endeavor to learn the trombone, every day lit hour. (1 internet to whomever can tell me that reference.)

Post by **LAYF** » Thu Jan 09, 2014 12:50 am

Surely sir, I'll plug my ears and go outside so not to complain to much!

Butler, bring me my rifle, I think I see young boys coming to flirt with my daughter!

Patdragon · Post by **Patdragon** » Thu Jan 09, 2014 9:32 am

Your daughter is 36 years old sir and those boys are your grandchildren sir......do you want the Ak or the baker?

Butler sing me a lullaby so i can get to sleep.

ThroughTheWell · Post by **ThroughTheWell** » Thu Jan 09, 2014 12:21 pm

If you will permit me sir, I suggest this record has been found to have a salutory effect on those desiring sonombulastic effects. ( No I did not double check my spelling or definitions.)

Butler, arange things so that my formidable Aunt Agatha will not get her way in attempting to divert me from a life of idle singleness by engineering marriage with Lord Fontroy's daughter who is so literary that she makes up poetry on the spot.

Quarg · Post by **Quarg** » Thu Jan 09, 2014 12:50 pm

Yes, sir...Would you like to marry a blonde or brunette stripper in Vegas sir?

Butler, Make arrangements to visit Shangri-La in the Himalaya immediately

BeanDip · Post by **BeanDip** » Thu Jan 09, 2014 2:24 pm

I have created several flower arrangements which are on their way now, sir.

Butler, fetch me another butler.

raaabr · Post by **raaabr** » Thu Jan 09, 2014 4:25 pm

I can't sir, I'm Livid!

Butler, find me the Greatest chef of all time!

Post by **WearsHats** » Sat Jan 11, 2014 11:37 am

Opinions vary, Sir, but I believe you'll find him in this cemetery just outside Paris. Shall I prepare a bouquet of truffles to lay on his grave?

Butler, this syrup is subpar. Get me Mrs. Butterworth on the phone.

Post by **nikohl** » Sat Jan 11, 2014 2:55 pm

I hope you're happy Sir, the telephone is ruined and the table is all sticky. I bet you're not even going to eat that.

Butler, I want a pet dragon.

Quarg · Post by **Quarg** » Sat Jan 11, 2014 3:11 pm

Yes sir, but by court order your no longer allowed to play with fire...

Butler, find me Zorba the Greek...

Post by **WearsHats** » Sat Jan 11, 2014 4:28 pm

It's right over there, Sir. On the shelf where you keep all your VHS tapes. Just to the left of your Atari games. Which reminds me, Sir. Do you have any thoughts on that proposal to turn this place into a museum after you pass? It would save on estate taxes. Oh yes, and that archaeologist called again about the living room.

Butler, ever since you put on that somnambulance record, I've been sleepwalking. How... utterly mundane. But it gives me a brilliant idea! Find me a record that will teach me to dance in my sleep. ... No! Better yet! Find me a record that will let me do my day's work in my sleep, so I can dance and do fun things while I'm awake!

Quarg · Post by **Quarg** » Sat Jan 11, 2014 6:37 pm

Sir, based on the newspapers you've been sleeping on the job for the last ten years...

Butler, find me a map to Atlantis...

raaabr · Post by **raaabr** » Sat Jan 11, 2014 11:38 pm

Here's a map to the closest DVD Rental shop, Sir. It should look like a Disney Movie.

Butler, make me a loaf of antimatter bread

Patdragon · Post by **Patdragon** » Sun Jan 12, 2014 8:13 am

We lost the west wing the last time we did antimatter bread, would sir prefer some Iridium waffles instead?

Butler, evolve me to my next evolutionary step.

Post by **LAYF** » Sun Jan 12, 2014 8:34 am

Surely my sir knows that evolutions do not occur over the stage of a single organism, but rather as an effect of natural selection and rare mutations caused to a group of organisms over multiple generations. But, if you wish for a developmental change, I'll be happy to add a new tattoo on your butt!

Butler, give me a soda machine that does not require the use of any resources!

Quarg · Post by **Quarg** » Sun Jan 12, 2014 5:55 pm

Yes, sir I will have the gardner go retrieve one of the ones sitting in the garage that your grandfather had removed from the golf course and fill it with cans of crystal Pepsi

Butler, Bring me Sophia Bush to be my bride...

raaabr · Post by **raaabr** » Sun Jan 12, 2014 11:01 pm

Sir, the plants dislike not being given independence. Should I schedule a date with her at the Olive Garden?

Butler, see into the true nature of things and tell me what you see!

Post by **nikohl** » Mon Jan 13, 2014 12:46 am

Yes Sir...I took some of your acid and I realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.

Butler! Bring me Tom, with the weather.

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Butler, cut me some milk! (Open to all!)

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Re: Butler, cut me some milk! (Open to all!)

Re: Butler, cut me some milk! (Open to all!)

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Re: Butler, cut me some milk! (Open to all!)

Re: Butler, cut me some milk! (Open to all!)

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Re: Butler, cut me some milk! (Open to all!)