Corrupted Wish Game

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Liesmith
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Re: Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Liesmith » Sat Feb 01, 2014 11:59 pm

Granted. The global economy crashes, and all money is now worthless. You survive the collapse of modern civilization, and become a moderately successful farmer within the new barter-based economy. You have to perform back-breaking labor 19 hours a day, but you never owe anyone anything ever again.

I wish that the next person to make a wish I'd consider morally "good" would get it granted without any corruption.
"All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day. You had a bad day once. Am I right? I know I am. I can tell. You had a bad day and everything changed."
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trubbol
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Re: Corrupted Wish Game

Post by trubbol » Sun Feb 02, 2014 12:24 am

I wish for the planet to explode. Bam.
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raaabr
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Re: Corrupted Wish Game

Post by raaabr » Sun Feb 02, 2014 4:32 pm

In recent news, the celestial body nicknamed "The Planet" exploded due to unknown reasons. Astronomers claim that there have been no baby-carrying starships spotted coming from the body yet... (I'm fairly sure you wouldn't see this as morally right anyway, Lie's, but since it's subjective I will corrupt your wish to make it not corrupt by exploiting that subjective nature)

I wish for a world where bee's don't sting humans.
Last edited by raaabr on Sun Feb 02, 2014 4:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Sometimes I get the feeling that If I was a goblin I would be called "Chews scenery". I have no idea why people might think that!

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Re: Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Davecom3 » Sun Feb 02, 2014 4:39 pm

Granted, you get Jupiter. That said, Jupiter colliding with the Earth causes devestation on the galactic scale.

I wish to be enlightened.

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raaabr
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Re: Corrupted Wish Game

Post by raaabr » Mon Feb 03, 2014 10:02 pm

Definition of enlightened: To be knowledgeable/wise, or to have a light shone on you. Result: Flashlight.

I wish I understood Ancient Latin Perfectly, as well as retaining my own language proficiency.
Sometimes I get the feeling that If I was a goblin I would be called "Chews scenery". I have no idea why people might think that!

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Re: Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Liesmith » Tue Feb 04, 2014 3:10 am

You understand Ancient Latin perfectly. Unfortunately, no one else does. Even the most prestigious university on the planet unwittingly knows bastardized forms of latin, and no one believes your 100% accurate translations. You are dismissed as a crackpot after appearing on the only show that will listen to you at all: Ancient Aliens, on the History Channel.

I wish I had a pet velociraptor (Jurassic Park style) that loved me and would never hurt me and we'd go on adventures and solve mysteries together. He would wear a suit coat, monocle, and keep a pocket watch on a gold chain and would take it out of his suit vest pocket and say "Looks like it's sleuthing time!" whenever we were about to start a new case. That last part isn't part of the wish, it's just what will happen when I get my velociraptor pal.
"All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day. You had a bad day once. Am I right? I know I am. I can tell. You had a bad day and everything changed."
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Re: Corrupted Wish Game

Post by SamWiser » Wed Feb 05, 2014 1:23 am

You get it, and have many fun adventures and solve many mysteries together. At first there is no problem, but soon you are on the case of a mysterious mass murderer (your investigatory prowess is world-renown so you often get called to help local police). He takes out his pocket watch and says his usual line, but he seems nervous. While you are solving the mystery, he seems to be little help. You, on the other hand, are searching for evidence and putting the pieces together. You soon discover why he isn't willing to help, and why he is nervous. The murderer... is HIM! This results in an intense meeting on a rooftop in the rain. You accuse him of the murders, and he doesn't defend himself. You lunge at him, but you loose your footing and almost fall; the only thing saving you is the clawed hand of you velociraptor friend. As he pulls you up, you decide to forgive him and say no more about the gruesome murders as long as he eats mean from a butcher from now on. He is fine with this alternative, and you start to leave, but he trips as well. You try to catch him, and grab hold of his suit jacket. Unfortunately somebody skimped on the quality, and it starts to rip. As the jacket is rent in two you watch your best friend, and the worlds only dinosaur fall to his death.

I wish I could automatically heal any injury without any negative effects.
Thanks to Arch Lich Burns for the avatar, and Mnementh for the mustache.

ÔÇ£Shoot the dictator and prevent the war? But the dictator is merely the tip of the whole festering boil of social pus from which dictators emerge; shoot him and there'll be another one along in a minute. Shoot him too? Why not shoot everyone and invade Poland?ÔÇØ
ÔÇò Terry Pratchett

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Re: Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Liesmith » Wed Feb 05, 2014 9:35 pm

*sniffle* That's just how he'd want to go...doing what he loved: being an awesome dinosaur detective. It looks like his watch finally...*puts on sunglasses*...wound down.

You can heal any injury with no negative effects! You decide to test your ability on your own bruised knuckles after thwarting some would-be bank robbers. You feel a slight pressure in you mind to signal that the power is activating...but nothing happens. You keep trying, but your hand remains bruised. You keep trying for several weeks until your bruises heal by themselves. Then, you try to surreptitiously heal other people. For years, nothing happens, but you don't give up hope. Over the course of decades, you keep trying, dozens of times per day. Your career stagnates from your loss any willingness to focus on your career beyond the bare minimum requirement, and you can't bring yourself to waste time socializing with new people, opting instead to only spend time with your current circle of friends. Your life doesn't get any worse, but it also doesn't get any better.

One day, you're half-watching a live TV interview with a quadruple-amputee while focusing on trying to heal a papercut on your finger. A boom of thunder from the television followed by a cry of surprise from the interviewer wrests your attention away from the task at hand. On the TV, the camera shakily pans over the confused interviewee, now sporting four new limbs.

It's at this point that you realize the truth: you can heal any injury...but you don't get to choose which one. With seven billion people on the planet, each one capable of having hundreds of tiny, insignificant injuries every day, the odds of anyone ever noticing a miraculous recovery is astronomically small. You've spent your life trying to get this ability to work but, as far as you can tell, only one major injury has ever been healed by it. You're in your late nineties at this point, still stuck in a dead-end job with fewer living friends every year. Still...you watch the amputee on the news, weeping with joy and embracing the reporter with new arms, and you realize that it was worth it. You close your eyes and get back to work, healing no one in particular.


I wish SCIENCE would bring back my velociraptor friend as a cyborg cop with no memories, and we'd each be investigating the same case: him, as an emotionless robot cop, and me as a grizzled private eye with nothing to lose. I'd discover that the local oil tycoon was secretly the murderer, but the police chief would order Velocibot to stay away because the oil tycoon donated a lot of money to the police station. I'd show up to catch the Tycoon, who would get the drop on me and hold me at gunpoint while calling the police, claiming that I broke in and he was forced to shoot me. Then, just as he pulled the trigger, Velocibot would burst into the room to witness the whole thing, as the Tycoon shot me in the heart and killed me. Velocibot would destroy him with lasers (the lasers are also part of the wish), then look down and find out that I'm not dead, but the bullet was actually blocked by a gold pocketwatch! He'll recognize the watch, and his memories will all return. We'll high-five and I'll join the police force. We'll be partners and solve the hell outta some crimes.
"All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day. You had a bad day once. Am I right? I know I am. I can tell. You had a bad day and everything changed."
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Patdragon
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Re: Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Patdragon » Wed Feb 26, 2014 7:13 am

Science does indeed allow this to happen and you re-unite and join forces with your now cyborg cop Velociraptor friend in the now highly cyberized police force, being a only fleshy human tho you are asked to upgrade several times but you know if you do they'll wipe your mind to make you a true law provider, you will become like your friend was briefly. In fact the police force doesn't know your companion has got his memories back and it the big secret you two share between you that makes your bond even stronger. This all all fine until you come up against the Mutant Mafia, where there organisation is just to big to bring down. You decided to go undercover and join the to bring it down from the inside, but you get into trouble and Velociraptor has to save your butt and pull you out, but reveals to the police force his true mind has returned in the process and he has to flee or get wiped. There only one thing you can do, you flee to the one branch of the mafia that will shelter you both, the FEV (fallout reference) factories. You hold up there for months and on the day you think you can finally move on and escape to the mexico jungle (yes there's a huge jungle there now). The police find you and in a big shoot out you both fall in a vat of FEV. What emerges is beyond belief, part robot, part velociraptor, part expert private, part pocket watch, you look like a centaur but with the lower half a dinosaur and the right hand side pure machine. Two minds melded as one and with the processing speed unequaled you take out the task force assigned to retrieve you with precision blasts from the lasers in your eyes and pocket watch embedded in your chest. What is unexpectedly new is the wings, this is your chance you burst through the skylight and flee into the night and towards the Mexican jungles, kinda happy that you two will now share the rest of your lives together.

I wish i could absorb and understand the knowledge of books through merely touch the cover.
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Anger is fleeting, Remorse eternal...
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Re: Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Davecom3 » Wed Feb 26, 2014 3:59 pm

Granted, but you soon understand that books in fact have no knowledge, being clearly non-sentient. If you want to learn something from a book, you will still have to read it, which proves difficult as all the ink in the book gets absorbed into your blood stream.


I wish I didn't just waste this wish.

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SamWiser
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Re: Corrupted Wish Game

Post by SamWiser » Wed Feb 26, 2014 4:39 pm

You didn't, but it got ruined anyways.

I wish I could clean something just by thinking about it.
Thanks to Arch Lich Burns for the avatar, and Mnementh for the mustache.

ÔÇ£Shoot the dictator and prevent the war? But the dictator is merely the tip of the whole festering boil of social pus from which dictators emerge; shoot him and there'll be another one along in a minute. Shoot him too? Why not shoot everyone and invade Poland?ÔÇØ
ÔÇò Terry Pratchett

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Re: Corrupted Wish Game

Post by friedkitty » Sun Mar 02, 2014 2:06 pm

You begin to clean things without having to lift a finger. This leaves you with lots of extra time for your own thoughts. Occasionally a few naughty ones will slip in there. You begin to think about what a dirty mind you have sometimes. Your last thought before you erase your own mind is that doing dishes isn't so bad after all.

I wish all public restrooms were cleaned regularly.

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Re: Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Patdragon » Tue Mar 04, 2014 3:06 am

granted. they are now cleaned so regurally they are always closed and no one can use them.

I wish they could find and eat a delicious pancake in china before the day ends.
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Re: Corrupted Wish Game

Post by friedkitty » Fri Mar 07, 2014 6:29 am

They found it, but even after splitting it into crumbs so small you couldn't taste them it still was not enough for everyone in China to have some. So now the remaining 1,005,627,320 people are coming to your house for more.

I wish my truck got better gas mileage.

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Re: Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Davecom3 » Fri Mar 07, 2014 5:17 pm

Granted, your truck breaks down and is deemed irreparable. It will never use a single gallon more, and thus now miles per gallon divides by zero, resulting in an infinite amount of miles per gallon, which is, at the same time, better, worse, and the same as the miles per gallon you were getting, but really it's the better mileage which was important, right?

I wish for infinite possibilities.

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Re: Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Kelten » Fri Mar 07, 2014 6:27 pm

granted. Pick a number.

I wish for a new goblins update
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Re: Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Patdragon » Fri Mar 07, 2014 7:07 pm

Granted, the goblins forum was updated with this post and many others.

I wish all future wishes after this one only granted people a cat in a basket, with a note saying "Here have this instead."
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Anger is fleeting, Remorse eternal...
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Re: Corrupted Wish Game

Post by mnementh » Sat Mar 15, 2014 9:11 pm

*Ignores your request for a basketload of pussy and throws cats at your face*

Here, have this instead!

I wish I could afford to stay home with my children... they're just getting interesting.


mnem
mrrp?

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SamWiser
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Re: Corrupted Wish Game

Post by SamWiser » Sun Mar 16, 2014 11:21 pm

You can, but the things that you have to do to earn that money scar you for life. From now on the only thing you can do is stare off into the distance and shake your head.

I wish I won the Mega Millions Jackpot.
Thanks to Arch Lich Burns for the avatar, and Mnementh for the mustache.

ÔÇ£Shoot the dictator and prevent the war? But the dictator is merely the tip of the whole festering boil of social pus from which dictators emerge; shoot him and there'll be another one along in a minute. Shoot him too? Why not shoot everyone and invade Poland?ÔÇØ
ÔÇò Terry Pratchett

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Re: Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Kelten » Tue Mar 18, 2014 1:23 pm

You do, but as you are about to collect your winnings you find a note saying "Here have this instead." and you end up with a cat in a basket

I wish for a flock of gigantic butterflies!
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Re: Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Reads_Books » Wed Mar 19, 2014 10:10 pm

Kelten wrote:You do, but as you are about to collect your winnings you find a note saying "Here have this instead." and you end up with a cat in a basket

I wish for a flock of gigantic butterflies!
Granted! They appear, and are beautiful.

A few months later, one of your neighbors phones the police, complaining about a bad smell. The arrive, and discover your decaying dead body. The cause of death is determined to be repeated blunt force trauma from your body being constantly slapped by giant wings.

I wish I owned my very own Pernese fire-lizard. A tiny telepathic mini-dragon which smart, and beautiful, and able to teleport, and communicate with me via emotions.
I have always imagined that Paradise would be a kind of Library

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Re: Corrupted Wish Game

Post by friedkitty » Fri Mar 21, 2014 8:01 pm

Your new lizard communicates very frequently via emotions...hatred. it is constantly teleporting throughout your house, destroying all of your prized possessions. You try to stop it, but can't, as it is smarter than you. You break down and call someone to help you, but nobody believes that su h a beautiful creature could cause such chaos. You are eventually left sitting on the ground outside the charred remains of your home, with a beautiful mini dragon sending waves of hatred at you from the tree to your left.

I wish people would stop stuffing me in this damn basket and handing me to people instead of wishes.

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Re: Corrupted Wish Game

Post by Patdragon » Mon Mar 24, 2014 5:48 am

Granted, the basket is gone and it is now replaced by a meat grinder.

I wish i wasn't so easily distrac...............Squirrel!
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Re: Corrupted Wish Game

Post by friedkitty » Tue Mar 25, 2014 10:36 am

You are now unable to be distracted by anything. What ever you are doing has your complete and undivided attention until it is completed.

Someone recently asked you what pi stood for.

Nobody ever saw you again.

I wish I had a chicken that laid golden eggs.

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Re: Corrupted Wish Game

Post by trubbol » Fri Mar 28, 2014 8:36 pm

The chicken lays golden eggs, and you use the eggs to become rich and give them out to your friends, eventually royally screwing over the economy by making gold a completely useless rock you can pretty much find anywhere. It is a pretty rock, but it is too common to be worth anything, and comes from a chickens hooha.

I wish I could draw comics.
Hey guys! I draw art and stuff, and will probably have something new more often than not! Look here! viewtopic.php?f=28&t=460&p=130673#p130673

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