Butler, cut me some milk! (Open to all!)

raaabr · Post by **raaabr** » Wed Feb 19, 2014 8:27 pm

Damn it. I've Killed it again! CLEAR!

Butler, inspire me using only depressing terms.

Post by **WearsHats** » Fri Feb 21, 2014 5:23 am

Sir, I would really rather not inspire you to take such a rash action. Besides, I'd be out of a job. Unemployed, homeless, alone. No, it would be far less dreadful if I could only inspire you to do something useful for once. Something to break up the ennui. So you wouldn't feel so listless. You wouldn't be such a wastrel. I mean, life is short. But you ask me to inspire you to make it even shorter? Sir, I despair of you. We're all going to die, and there's nothing you can do about that. If you could just see that, maybe you'd stop wasting what time you do have.

Butler, make me a phoenix egg omlet. (And make sure it doesn't give me heartburn.)

Krulle · Post by **Krulle** » Wed Feb 26, 2014 2:14 am

This might take a while, sir, as your phoenix just burned himself. It will be at least 3 years until she's mature enough again to lay eggs. And your neighbours have a male phoenix, and your daughter's phoenix is with your daughter in Beauxbatons.

Waiter, could you please bring me todays "News of the World"?

HennaGaijin · Post by **HennaGaijin** » Wed Feb 26, 2014 7:38 am

Waiter? When did we get a waiter? Oh goodness, am I finally being replaced? (

)
(Alternate, slightly less pedantic answer: Yes sir, papers from the 193-196 (depending who you ask) countries of the world will be with you at the breakfast table shortly.)

Butler.... why am I not loved?

► Show Spoiler

Patdragon · Post by **Patdragon** » Wed Feb 26, 2014 7:45 am

No one can love you as much as you love yourself sir, so everyone elses love just looks like hate to you and it has nothing to do with your annoying ways or my blog about them.

Bulter, I've been sneezing for days find out whats wrong.

Krulle · Post by **Krulle** » Wed Feb 26, 2014 8:18 am

That is good news, sir. I'd recommend some lengthy and hefty coughs to start bettering the wrongs...

Butler, pluck me some stars from the nightsky, please.

LooksAndSmiles · Post by **LooksAndSmiles** » Wed Feb 26, 2014 8:47 am

Sir, just like lightbulbs, I can't touch them while they are shining bright. I have to wait 'til noon when they are cold and neigh invisible.

Butler, cure your amnesia.

Krulle · Post by **Krulle** » Wed Feb 26, 2014 9:33 am

yes, sir! (...) Right away, Sir. (...) And is there any other wish I can do for you while I'm collecting this, Sir?

Butler! Check whether the maid feels frisky tonight!

HennaGaijin · Post by **HennaGaijin** » Wed Feb 26, 2014 11:05 am

Oooh... erm, ahem, I would say the answer is a resounding yes sir, now will you please get out of our room?

Butler, catch me that moonbeam.

WonkaC · Post by **WonkaC** » Wed Feb 26, 2014 7:55 pm

At once. May I borrow a Sun catcher?

Butler! It is time for Fafnir's walkies!

raaabr · Post by **raaabr** » Sun Mar 02, 2014 2:07 am

Right away, sir. "Bravo team, prepare the Leash, Over"

Butler, find me and answer to the riddle of the Sphinx that isn't "Mankind" or any synonym of "Mankind"!

Krulle · Post by **Krulle** » Mon Mar 03, 2014 2:35 pm

Woman, Sir? I shall immediately send for your wife Marcus.

Butler, I miss Goblinscomic. Bring me the next page before nightfall, will you?

Patdragon · Post by **Patdragon** » Mon Mar 03, 2014 5:59 pm

yes sir, tho that may be a while as we live at the north pole and were at the stage when the sun doesn't set for a bit longer.

Bulter, I've decided to collect them all. go make the preparations.

Krulle · Post by **Krulle** » Sat Mar 08, 2014 6:40 am

Sure, Sir. Frozen in carbonite blocks, Sir?

Butler, bring me some hot ice-cream!

raaabr · Post by **raaabr** » Sat Mar 08, 2014 10:16 pm

Would sir like Chili Ice-cream, or Fried Ice-Cream? Or both?

Butler, find me the cure for the common cold. My nose is killing me.

Patdragon · Post by **Patdragon** » Sun Mar 09, 2014 12:06 am

yes sir. common cold cured its a shame you have the upperclass cold tho. would you like me to kill the nose with the shotgun before it finishes you off.

butler. youve work here for 10 years i think its time you finally told me your name.

Krulle · Post by **Krulle** » Sun Mar 09, 2014 4:49 am

Yes sir. And I already do, about 150 times a day, as my name is not "butler"...

Butler, find me something good on TV!

Post by **LAYF** » Sun Mar 09, 2014 5:55 pm

yes sir, right away sir, just after I invent an unlimited source of clean energy, prove Santa exists and see the backside of my own head without any tools, objects, reflective surfaces, natural or unnatural events or body modifications to help me!

Butler find a way to make Justin Bieber's music attractive to sane people over the age of 12.

Post by **Wolfie** » Mon Mar 10, 2014 6:01 am

Sir, that would require rearranging the molecules in the inner ear of every adult over 12 years of age into a pattern that resembles a Celtic knot drawn by a 6 year old dyslexic donkey. We are fresh out of 6 year old dyslexic donkeys. I do however have this handy shotgun and a solid alibi for you sir.

Butler, find me an identical clone to Chris Hemsworth.

Krulle · Post by **Krulle** » Mon Mar 10, 2014 6:15 am

Right away, mylady. Do you have a sample of hair, skin, or something, then I'll get into my laboratory right away. The clone should be fully grown to CH's size in 30,5 years...

Butler, have the kitchen prepare me a Aurochs-steak for dinner tonight.

raaabr · Post by **raaabr** » Thu Mar 13, 2014 8:52 pm

Yes sir, your Aurochs T-Bone Dust will be out soon.

Butler, bring forth to me a talking teacup. I need someone to have a good conversation with during Tea time.

Reads_Books · Post by **Reads_Books** » Thu Mar 13, 2014 11:33 pm

raaabr wrote:Yes sir, your Aurochs T-Bone Dust will be out soon.

Butler, bring forth to me a talking teacup. I need someone to have a good conversation with during Tea time.

I'm sorry Sir, Disney owns the rights to all talking teacups, and I have just barely recovered from my last battle with their lawyers. Remember the dancing hippos?

--

Butler, Bring me Season two of Firefly on Blueray.

Patdragon · Post by **Patdragon** » Fri Mar 14, 2014 1:45 am

yes sir, Here is your fillet of Blue ray covered with a firefly crunch and the 2nd seasoning from the cabinet, which is a brown coating sauce.

Bulter, Bring me the biggest Pie in the world....it is Pi day after all.

Post by **GathersIngredients** » Fri Mar 14, 2014 2:03 am

Sir, wouldn't it be easier if I just brought you to the biggest pie in the world? It wouldn't even fit through the door and all that...

Butler, find out why there is no end to the positions after decimal point in Pi and also, if there are any other numbers created by division like that and then educate me. (And don't just give me a link to google, this time!

)

Krulle · Post by **Krulle** » Fri Mar 14, 2014 2:40 am

Mylady, I am afraid that you are too old to understand simple mathematics as necessary to explain why Pi is irrational. I therefore think it would be much easier to send ou to sleep using some pills instead of me giving you a lecture you will never ever even pretend to understand.

Butler, cut me some slack!

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Butler, cut me some milk! (Open to all!)

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