Any DnD stories?

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Kamos
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Any DnD stories?

Post by Kamos » Tue May 14, 2013 3:05 pm

Me and my friends started playing DnD on our own by our own volition with no veteran helping us or anything. And we've yet to add anyone who had really ever played the game before. The way we've always played it has me and my friends roleplaying out a large amount of encounters and I've found it creates much more significant events. We also support outside the box thinking in combat.

So I was kind of wondering what other stories might come out of things.
Like this story that was our first real roleplaying event aside from me wearing Golbin intestine to scare them into submission. He also ate most of that Goblin as he was a cannibal. But this has always been memorable for me because it was an insane amount of fun without getting bogged down in a lot of rules.

The four adventurers enter the small city of Falkrest having just completed a mission of recovering a small and mysterious box for a Dwarf named Traevis. The box had been lost in a Goblin ambush earlier led by a Necromancer Malareth(that part was out of a beginners book). Berengar the Half-Elf Fighter, Haegon the Dwarven Cleric, Luna the Druid, and Kayaki the Rogue returned to the Dwarf Traevis meeting him outside his home in the residential area. He thanked them all graciously and paid them as well as showed them what was in the box. It was an artifact known as the Crown of the Undead King. He quickly and greedily donned the crown with the adventurers watching in horror as his skin melted away to an undead form. But soon his laughs of victory turned to fear and pain as Malareth had cursed the crown before the adventurers recovered it. Suddenly he transformed into a retarded*** Allip. In the combat against the creature two town guards came to help. One was wounded heavily because Kayaki kept stabbing him on accident(crit fails). Eventually the Allip fled and with him the injured guard fled as well with Berengar following him to make sure he was okay.

He was not okay. A mysterious woman stood over him with a bloody knife. Berengar brandished his weapon demanding to know why she had slain him. She merely answered 'weakness' and led out a shriek that sent Berengar fleeing having been overwhelmed with fear. He ran back to his companions but was unable to recount events. The woman was gone or at least no one else saw her.

They went to the tavern/inn to recoup after the ordeal with the Crown being intrusted the Haegon the Cleric to safeguard it until they decided what to do with it. In the tavern was the local blacksmith, the innkeep and two mysterious cloaked figures. One in black holding a black scimitar with large red gems and gold trim along the blade. The other a woman in white.
Also the Druid was tired of playing an disappeared into a mist or something.
Haegon the cleric went drinking with the blacksmith as Kayaki tried to get the woman to have sex with Haegon(Haegon had really low Charisma so he found the idea funny). Berengar went to talk with the man in black. The conversation went good with Berengar inquiring about the blade and discovering the Halfling was also a cannibal by bizarre coincidence. However it broke down a bit went Berengar mentioned he enjoyed the taste of Halfling. Meanwhile Kayaki was very aggressively being told to shove off and as she attempted to leave he went to grab her. She promptly tossed him to the ground with enough force to shatter the wood floor. And then charged outtossing both the Halfing and Berengar across the room, Berengar recognized her as the strange scary woman. Haegon caught Berengar but the Halfing slammed against the wall falling unconscious. Berengar then intimidated the barkeep into handing over the halfings weapon while Kayaki robbed him.

*** The Retarded template was a nickname invented by me and the other players for every monster our original DM made while he didn't understand or remember the rules. This Allip in particular never used it's Babble ability and didn't to Wisdom damage. He also didn't make touch attacks. Similar creatures include a Hydra without Fast Healing and a Barghest that could be subdued into servitude using Diplomacy.
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Jibjib
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Re: Any DnD stories?

Post by Jibjib » Wed May 15, 2013 5:40 am

The best in joke in my group came from a character run by one of my friends, a female human rogue. Her character background was that she was a former 'Lady of the Night' who had sneak attacked her pimp one day and run off to be an adventurer. Long story short, they were in a dungeon crawl and the rogue fell into what was essentially a pool of chaos, and by the time the cleric Remove Diseased her, she'd grown two extra arms. This led to the utterance at the end of the night of the immortal phrase:

"Ok guys, I think it's best if we never again mention the four-armed mutant hooker."
Psychosis is such an ugly word... I prefer Internalised Reality Warping.

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John
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Re: Any DnD stories?

Post by John » Thu May 16, 2013 8:25 am

I think my favorite story was a game where the DM set us on a quest to go and root out this arch wizard. The woman who gave us this quest said that the area would be full of evil wizards and the like. So we went in guns ablazing and fireballing away.

So we try to switch into sneaky mode at one point and come across a room with 4 guys in wizards robes tinkering with potions and artifacts and heavy on magical aura. So our half orc rogue leads the assault and sneak attacks 2 to death immediately. I pin one down to interrogate, and realize they were like 12- 15 year old boys studying. They are crying about how they are just doing their homework and they wet themselves and it was just the saddest thing ever. Some of our characters were good aligned and tried to stop the orc once we realized our folly, and being neutral I foiled their rescued attempts. I mean they would have told the authorities, I didn't WANT to kill them, but we already were in too deep. So we ended up burning the room and the bodies to hide the evidence, I was feeling super guilty the entire time.

So we get to the next room with a bunch of goblins telling jokes and looking innocent. To try to avoid the folly of killing the kids, we don't harm these ones. And what do we get? They play innocent, then spring a trap and start stabby stabby in our faces. We just couldn't get anything right! It was funny how much we struggled with trying to deal with the humanity of our characters and just being foiled. Our DM had an awesome time with it.

Lastly the warrior ended up in the next room in a wrestling ring fighting aerobatic gnomes. It was pretty funny.
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Kamos
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Re: Any DnD stories?

Post by Kamos » Thu May 16, 2013 11:04 pm

Oh those moments are great as a DM. I have a Changeling Cleric of Nerull, Trickery and Death to the extreme. His name is Anton.

He has successfully led my adventurers into half a dozen traps and on the rare occasion even fought alongside them. He is extremely arrogant about his abilities but quick to run away in cowardice. Of couse he's rather unassuming. He is very polite in conversation, never overbearing while being friendly and warm. The king of fella that lets you think it was your idea while he was playing you all along. I often consider him to be one of my crowning achievements.

First battle he tricked them. He was leading them down a roads, still under the guise of being the friend having helped them kill an Ogre(that somehow snuck up on the Ranger with a lucky roll). Disappeared and bandits attacked. He came out after the battle but the talking sword that belonged to the bandit chief saved them from his undead. He turned invisible and ran. The Ranger tracked him for a bit but ultimately failed. Incidentally the talking sword hated Dwarves, coincidence that the next party member was a Dwarf.

Next time he met them he ambushed them with undead. A massive swarm of them at that where my player really REALLY surprised me. He was standing on a ledge as the undead bust from the ground beneath them. They friggin entangled him right off the bat so he couldn't run. So while the undead kept him them busy he started casting buffs until I could think of something. He sonic blasted through a tree and start the climb his way out when the Dwarven Cleric turned the ground beneath him to sand causing him to tumble down into the battle. At first he fought well while trashing his the players with his powerful buffs but he took a few nasty hits and it's in his character to run. Also he probably could have killed them all and I had more plans for him. So he goes to run.
The Dwarven Cleric leaps from a tree and tackles him.
The Rogue manages a lasso and hogties him after several successful checks and failures on his part. However while going down he did the only thing he could think of. Animate Dead on the Rangers dead animal companion. There a trusted companion ran over and check up the ropes then held off the party just long enough for his escape.

Intent on a little revenge for that embarrassment he led them into one hell of an ambush posing as a Ranger they were meant to contact. The party Ranger was suspicious but failed his spot check to get through the disguise by one point and decided everything was okay since he rolled high. He led them into the ambush of a Half-Dragon Bugbear Monk. An entertaining battle that was meant to be an exercise in teamwork. They were led to a quarry with stone pillars with runes on them. After some dialog the Bugbear activated the stones creating a magical darkness. He then proceeded to use spring attack/extra moves in, out and on the pillars all the while hunting them by scent. They scattered like a bunch of idiots to look for the obviously more powerful foe as individuals. I would've facepalmed but it would give to much away.
The Cleric was actually around and got a little roughed up but he did manage to kill the party Ranger and bring him back as a zombie to hold off the Rogue while he escaped.

Later he sent them a gift box full of Fiendish Gnomes as an amusing ambush. Noticing they had acquired a rival cleric to in the party and being an arrogant bastard he invited him to his home. A Mimic, shadow clones, a lying alter of truth led to the epic battle with him. He swarmed them with weaker shades of himself giving himself time to use his buffs. The replicas of himself were fueled by magical orbs sitting on pedestals. There were two ways to destroy them. Destroy the orb setting off a large burst of force damage or to simply extinguish the torch behind each pedestal thus eliminating the 'shade'.
Eventually they reduced him to stable unconsciousness which caused a serious debate. There were those who wanted to execute him right there but a Monk for whom it was against his code to kill the helpless. He tried to defend this nemesis, even taking down another party member before they managed to get him.
Or did they?

He appeared once again in a magical arena. As the arena in manner of speaking. He was being used to fuel a small pocket dimension that was trying it's damnedest to kill the Ranger who had been resurrected as a Lizardfolk and was consequently handed over as a gladiatorial slave. Here he actually ended up as an ally and swore he owed them a debt. Which he kept his word and helped them hunt down a military assassination target. Of course what kind of guy would he be if it didn't benefit him as he simultaneously tricked them into killed the local Duke as well.

Tricking them into killed the Duke was a rather joyous moment for me in particular because I dropped so many hints, I gave them so many leads and made it so obvious. And they never saw it coming.
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Re: Any DnD stories?

Post by Corpsificus » Mon May 20, 2013 1:27 pm

I served as the foil with an excellent straightman in in a wonderful D&D campaign. The pair were Lyle and Corpsificus. Lyle was a lawful good cleric of Pelor. Corpsificus was a chaotic evil wizard/chain fighting pale master. She prayed to Pelor, Corpsificus robbed graves. She had an 18 CHA, he had 8. Lyle sought to heal and befriend everyone she met, he killed innocents in a way to not be caught and killed those he hated in public view. Lyle carried "sterotypical girly things" and Corpsificus carried body parts and corpses. Lyle bathed where applicable, Corpsificus rubbed graveyard dirt on himself and loathed bathing. He was a crowning achievement. He is my username here and Twitter. He was inspired by Richard from LFG, Richie Aprile and Ralph Cifaretto from the Sopranos, Joker from the Dark Knight, and Rampage from Beast Wars. I gave him a rough uneven gravelly voice inspired by Rob Zombie in tone and Peter Lorre in inflection. He always spoke at a casual volume and rarely yelled or shouted.
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Kamos
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Re: Any DnD stories?

Post by Kamos » Mon May 20, 2013 10:31 pm

Heh, I've not had pairs like that happen very often. Or at least for very long.

Hosting my game tonight I ran into a particular hiccup. The Chaotic Evil Ranger and Chaotic Good Crusader enter a small prisoner room. In the cells are a Dragonborn Marshal, Greenspawn Zealot, and Githzerai. They both agreed to release the Githzerai and did so without issue but the whole time the Dragonborn and Greenspawn were shouting threats and insults at each other.
To solve the issue of which one to take they gave both cheap weapon and watched them fight. Giving the better weapon to the Dragonborn. Well he lost and right before the Zealot landed the final blow the ranger betrayed him shooting him in the back. The Crusader knocked him prone and released the Zealot from his cell where he chased and killed the Ranger.

This isn't the first time having prisoners caused infighting in the party. Sort of a lesson I've learned as a DM. Surrendered and the helpless cause problems.

Or my character that was a LN Kensai protecting his people against Demon and Devils as the Blood War spilled into his home realm. However the only way to shut the gates was working with an Evil Warlock. An Evil warlock who had exploded from his previous companion a Scout when the scout used an artifact to consume the soul of a Devil. The Warlock had been trapped in the mask. While going about one of the Devil fortresses they found container holding the souls of the innocent. The Kensai warned him not to even dare touch them and when the Warlock consumed some(being sort of his 'thing') the Kensai stuck him down in a single blow. Kensai's don't play around when they commit to something. After that he found a Favored Soul who could shut the gates.

These characters couldn't stand each other more than a couple of sessions tops.
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Re: Any DnD stories?

Post by BeanDip » Tue May 21, 2013 8:22 am

I've only played a couple of games of DnD but one incident sticks out.

Our DM was using Bhuts from the Fiend Folio during an adventure but he mispronounced the name in his excitement. He pronounced it as "Butts" rather than "Ba-hoots".

And so that's how we were attacking by two Wild, Screaming Butts.
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John
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Re: Any DnD stories?

Post by John » Fri May 31, 2013 7:36 am

BeanDip wrote:I've only played a couple of games of DnD but one incident sticks out.

Our DM was using Bhuts from the Fiend Folio during an adventure but he mispronounced the name in his excitement. He pronounced it as "Butts" rather than "Ba-hoots".

And so that's how we were attacking by two Wild, Screaming Butts.

BAHBAHAHAHAHAHABAHAB
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Re: Any DnD stories?

Post by willpell » Sat Jun 15, 2013 6:06 pm

Jibjib wrote:"Ok guys, I think it's best if we never again mention the four-armed mutant hooker."
What a waste of earning potential!
You either die Chaotic, or you live long enough to see yourself become Lawful.
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Re: Any DnD stories?

Post by Slings Words » Tue Jun 25, 2013 6:07 pm

I think everyone interested in a really good D&D story should look up the tale of the Head of Vecna. Classic.
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Re: Any DnD stories?

Post by willpell » Tue Jun 25, 2013 9:24 pm

On another forum, I'm currently running two single-player campaigns that are eventually meant to intersect (set in the same universe as "The Forest" which I'm running here). One of them has a Drow Psion slightly-psionic Wizardess living among humans as the player, and she and her crew of bodyguards and advisors are investigating the home of a Wizardess (designed as such before the player decided to stop being a Psion) named "Crystal Indigo", who founded a fluffy-bunny New Age cult in her suburban bungalow, and now it has gone horribly wrong, leaving the house full of possessed maniacs and booby-trapped with preachy passive-aggressive spell traps that were designed to nonlethally wrangle the cult's "seekers of enlightenment". This arm of the campaign revolves very heavily around a slightly refluffed version of Magic of Incarnum, and just before the Drow and her group reached the house, they were attacked by a group of fairly standard Lost - one fat guy that spews acid, one bloodthirsty berserker, one creepy little girl who chants nursery rhymes of despair (and has a frying pan heat-seared onto her hand as a shield!), and a rogue with a crossbow whose head the Psion exploded with a critical hit. (She never figured out that it was a Manifester crossbow that was worth 5 free Power Points, despite my having taken great pains to describe how it "contained something that was almost a mind", and now she isn't a psion anymore; sad.)

Anyway, I'm just now starting a new fight against another quartet of Lost, and this time I got creative. Here are the antagonists this time:

* A former Paladin with a couple of Incarnum Feats, now Fallen to LN because of homicidal mania (basically Templar mentality), whose shtick is being a robot. She's the "normal" one, apart from being obsessed with cleansing things she thinks are contaminated, and having a weak bit of Quantum Mechanics subtext (she was a certifiable genius before the Lost template shaved 6 off her INT). I gave her Skill Tricks to make her a little less boring, but it didn't do much good, since the selection of skill tricks available to a level 5 Paladin is pretty negligible (they all require at least 5 ranks in a skill, more often 8 or even 12, and almost none of the good ones key off of skills that are in-class for Paladins).

* A black guy with great hair who is quite literally God's Gift to Women, and who in his insanity sings James Brown lyrics (I figure that lunatics are allowed to break the 4th wall rather than just babbling randomly). He's a Human Paragon and Sorcerer with a Divine Spirit that heals him, high Charisma and Constitution representing his sex appeal, and all his spells (other than Mage Armor) are chosen for their innuendo potential: Grease, Enlarge Person, and a Fire spell for his only 2nd-level, which powers a Reserve Feat that lets him make little fireballs all day. (I picked Scorching Ray over Body of the Sun, mostly because the fight is happening in a library and I didn't want to burn all the books.) His entire narrative purpose is to hit on the Drow (largely because she's "black", more literally than him...hey, he has INT 4), in as skeevy a way as possible. If that doesn't work...or if it does...he has a Martial Study of Setting Sun's "Mighty Throw"...and the fight is happening on the library's second floor. Did I mention the Drow has twelve Hit Points?

* A guy who's dropped to INT 3 and thus regressed to childhood....before gaining 5 levels of Incarnate. Unlike the others he's still Good, albeit in the grip of a never-ending temper tantrum when he's not busy sucking his thumb and asking Pelor to bless mommy and daddy. His Incarnate Weapon is a gigantic croquet mallet which he wields in one hand, while in his other hand is a shield which is Glamered to look like a big fluffy pillow which discharges feathers whenever it's hit. He also has a Soulspark Familiar hovering over his head, and one Airstep Sandal (because he's a "Goody One-Shoe"). And as if this wasn't nuts enough, he also dabbles in Truenaming with his Feats, allowing him to make someone take 1d6 damage for 2 turns just by calling them a meanie-meanhead and wishing they would die. (I refluff Truenaming for the same reasons I do Incarnum; the character would work mechanically the same without my revisions, he'd just be a lot dorkier-sounding, whereas I prefer a sort of sophisticated silliness.)

* And my crown jewel of the bunch, "Faro Gloomdread, Bringer of Darkness and Death". He is a Fighter 1, Rogue 1, Cloistered Cleric 1 of a deity of Death and Madness, Shadowcaster 1, and Swordsage 1 with maneuvers from Shadow Hand, Desert Wind, Diamond Mind and Tiger Fang, plus a Shadow Hand stance, most of which help him land that +1d6 Sneak Attack. This is obviously not nuts *enough*, so he took the Shadow Trickster feat to add +2 to his Sneak Attack damage, as well as trading his Death Domain for the Devotion feat, letting him give out two Negative Levels. He fights with a crook and flail, and is dressed up in full pharaonic regalia. His weapons both let him trip someone, and he has the Improved Trip feat, but because the Lost template nuked his INT, he has to cast Fox's Cunning from a Wand (which is usable ONLY by Cloistered Clerics, since regular clerics aren't allowed to have Intelligence) in order to requalify for this feat and be able to use it for the next 3 minutes. Unbeknowst to everyone, he is a Changeling on top of all this, who was insane even before he got possessed by one of Crystal's crazy spirits, and firmly believes he's been alive since the ancient faux-Egypt empire was in its glory days...probably because most of his former friends were (they're Elans and Unbodied and other such immortals), and he's forgotten that the stories they've told him didn't actually happen to himself.

So now, I get to see how my Drow player will react to these lunatics...and after that, it's on to the fight with Crystal herself! (Having never run a battle with a level 7 wizard before, I'm stalling for time with this fight so I can do more research; all of these characters, for all their goofiness, should be fairly easy to run out of the books, since they avoid more than 1 or 2 levels in highly modular classes like Wizard and Cleric.) All this is without getting into the nutsness of my other PC's game....
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Kamos
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Re: Any DnD stories?

Post by Kamos » Wed Jun 26, 2013 11:38 pm

Heh, I don't think I'm creative enough to arrange my players such characters. I do like to taunt them with their former antagonist as he keeps making appearances to obtain items of dubious importance.
Last time he rode off into the sunset on a zombie gnoll driven wagon after berating the party Sorcerer and having some chit chat with the Favored Soul.
I swear though, to have 19 Charisma he plays that Sorcerer like such an annoying dunce. His last character was completely deranged and still got along better with NPC's than this guy. At one point I literally had the shop keeper just tell him to get out of the store he was being such a pain in the ass and ruining it for the other players and me.
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Re: Any DnD stories?

Post by RidcullyJack » Thu Jun 27, 2013 3:56 am

At some point, a DM has to tell a player who is trying to role-play their character as annoying that their Charisma is too high to do that.
The same way that a character with very low intelligence shouldn't be allowed to instigate their player's clever plan because the character is too dumb to have thought of it, characters with high Charisma should be role-played with high Charisma.
Sometimes, the DM has to say "no, try again, your character isn't doing that because their [stat] is too [low/high]".

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Re: Any DnD stories?

Post by Amara » Thu Jun 27, 2013 12:19 pm

To be fair on charisma, I've also seen it thought of and played as force of personality (for better or worse).

I've a huge problem playing characters that aren't at least of average intelligence, haha. It's very, very hard for me for exactly that reason.

Humn, stories of my own...

Not sure if I told the "Carpaccian Catarang" story on the old forums or not?

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Re: Any DnD stories?

Post by Slings Words » Thu Jun 27, 2013 5:53 pm

RidcullyJack wrote:At some point, a DM has to tell a player who is trying to role-play their character as annoying that their Charisma is too high to do that.
The same way that a character with very low intelligence shouldn't be allowed to instigate their player's clever plan because the character is too dumb to have thought of it, characters with high Charisma should be role-played with high Charisma.
Sometimes, the DM has to say "no, try again, your character isn't doing that because their [stat] is too [low/high]".
Admittedly, a character with high Charisma can act however they like, in my opinion. Now, if they're acting annoying and uncouth, they should really have a REASON for doing it. For example, I don't see why a charismatic character can't act like a raging braggart, pompous and full of him/herself, right?
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Re: Any DnD stories?

Post by willpell » Thu Jun 27, 2013 5:53 pm

RidcullyJack wrote:Sometimes, the DM has to say "no, try again, your character isn't doing that because their [stat] is too [low/high]".
I would regard that as absolutely the worst thing that the GM can do; they are saying that the player doesn't have the option to play their character their way. The character's stats do NOT limit what he can choose to do; what they do is arbitrate the results. If the Charisma 19 character makes a dumb fart joke, then everyone laughs at it, because they told it with such spectacular conviction that even the most uptight, humorless person in the audience has been won over in spite of themselves. Conversely, if the player wants his Intelligence 5 barbarian to work out a complex, sophisticated plan of action, let him...then tell him how many hours (or days) it took him to think up that much detail, and make him roll to see if he remembers the whole thing, and make him roll again to see whether he manages not to bungle the timing of the steps, or have accidentally selected inadequate materials, or something like that. His Intelligence ensures he has a thousand ways to botch the whole business, but he's perfectly capable of trying to make it work, no matter how unlikely he is to succeed.

The player has the right to decide what role he's playing; end of story. The GM simply determines the consequences of those chosen actions. At most, the GM can go "Are you sure that's something your character would want to do?" If the response is "Yes", then that's final, and you run with it.
You either die Chaotic, or you live long enough to see yourself become Lawful.
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Re: Any DnD stories?

Post by Slings Words » Thu Jun 27, 2013 5:57 pm

willpell wrote:
RidcullyJack wrote:Sometimes, the DM has to say "no, try again, your character isn't doing that because their [stat] is too [low/high]".
I would regard that as absolutely the worst thing that the GM can do; they are saying that the player doesn't have the option to play their character their way. The character's stats do NOT limit what he can choose to do; what they do is arbitrate the results. If the Charisma 19 character makes a dumb fart joke, then everyone laughs at it, because they told it with such spectacular conviction that even the most uptight, humorless person in the audience has been won over in spite of themselves. Conversely, if the player wants his Intelligence 5 barbarian to work out a complex, sophisticated plan of action, let him...then tell him how many hours (or days) it took him to think up that much detail, and make him roll to see if he remembers the whole thing, and make him roll again to see whether he manages not to bungle the timing of the steps, or have accidentally selected inadequate materials, or something like that. His Intelligence ensures he has a thousand ways to botch the whole business, but he's perfectly capable of trying to make it work, no matter how unlikely he is to succeed.

The player has the right to decide what role he's playing; end of story. The GM simply determines the consequences of those chosen actions. At most, the GM can go "Are you sure that's something your character would want to do?" If the response is "Yes", then that's final, and you run with it.
This.

As a DM, I ALWAYS let my players try to do whatever they'd like to try and do and their stats/rolls determine the outcome. I never once told someone that their stats prevent them from trying anything. As willpell said, it's all a matter of adjudicating the results to reflect their stats

Edit: Even in those extreme circumstances where a player has an incredibly low stat. For example, someone with a very very VERY low Strength might try and lift, say, an anvil. I'd let them try it. Now, they'd need to critically succeed to pull it off, otherwise I'd tell them that they just don't seem capable of lifting it. On a critical, however, I might throw out something like "For the first time in your character's life, he hefts something more than 20 pounds. It's astonishing!" at which point I'd make them do a Constitution/Strength check to see how long they can keep it up
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Re: Any DnD stories?

Post by RidcullyJack » Thu Jun 27, 2013 6:32 pm

I guess I should have been clearer - the DM needs to find a way to say "you try, but (almost certainly) don't succeed."

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Re: Any DnD stories?

Post by willpell » Thu Jun 27, 2013 10:02 pm

Slings Words wrote:Edit: Even in those extreme circumstances where a player has an incredibly low stat. For example, someone with a very very VERY low Strength might try and lift, say, an anvil. I'd let them try it. Now, they'd need to critically succeed to pull it off, otherwise I'd tell them that they just don't seem capable of lifting it. On a critical, however, I might throw out something like "For the first time in your character's life, he hefts something more than 20 pounds. It's astonishing!" at which point I'd make them do a Constitution/Strength check to see how long they can keep it up
Admittedly, in that case, I'd be more likely to say "you can't lift it, but your success means that you don't throw out your back from trying". Some tasks are just plain impossible, but they key distinction is that you can always choose to attempt the impossible...you just aren't likely to get very far. I can attempt to walk straight up a wall anytime I choose, but the only thing it's gonna get me is a bruised rear end as I fail to beat Gravity's automatic natural 20 (see the Deities and Demigods rules) in an opposed roll.
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Re: Any DnD stories?

Post by Slings Words » Thu Jun 27, 2013 10:28 pm

willpell wrote: Admittedly, in that case, I'd be more likely to say "you can't lift it, but your success means that you don't throw out your back from trying". Some tasks are just plain impossible, but they key distinction is that you can always choose to attempt the impossible...you just aren't likely to get very far. I can attempt to walk straight up a wall anytime I choose, but the only thing it's gonna get me is a bruised rear end as I fail to beat Gravity's automatic natural 20 (see the Deities and Demigods rules) in an opposed roll.
Each DM is different, of course. It's all about adjudication. But, yes, I see your point :)
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Kamos
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Re: Any DnD stories?

Post by Kamos » Fri Jun 28, 2013 12:11 am

Slings Words wrote:
RidcullyJack wrote:At some point, a DM has to tell a player who is trying to role-play their character as annoying that their Charisma is too high to do that.
The same way that a character with very low intelligence shouldn't be allowed to instigate their player's clever plan because the character is too dumb to have thought of it, characters with high Charisma should be role-played with high Charisma.
Sometimes, the DM has to say "no, try again, your character isn't doing that because their [stat] is too [low/high]".
Admittedly, a character with high Charisma can act however they like, in my opinion. Now, if they're acting annoying and uncouth, they should really have a REASON for doing it. For example, I don't see why a charismatic character can't act like a raging braggart, pompous and full of him/herself, right?
Oh were he only the braggart. He was haggling with the merchant like Milton from Office Space.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vd4fj9Efl4s
Talking in that exact fashion.

Everyone at the table was getting sick of it so I had to kick him out of the store to get him out of the scene.

Later in the same session I nearly killed everyone by sheer dice rolling luck. Elven Pirate Captains sure are tough.
Level 6 Swashbuckler using an Elven Courtblade(Finesse capable) 2h d10+Str 1.1/2+Int 18-20/2x crit range
He pumped a Cat's Grace before the battle sending his Dex into the 20's making him a tough target to hit even with Scorching Ray, the glass canon sorcerers favorite.

On the upside we may be getting another player and I added a Githzerai NPC Fighter who is built around using two spiked gauntlets. He's very stoic so he doesn't require much input. I'll also throw themn a bone and increase the Con of the Favored Soul since he is the closest thing to a tank they have besides the Githzerai.
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Re: Any DnD stories?

Post by Slings Words » Fri Jun 28, 2013 11:44 am

Kamos wrote:
Slings Words wrote:
RidcullyJack wrote:At some point, a DM has to tell a player who is trying to role-play their character as annoying that their Charisma is too high to do that.
The same way that a character with very low intelligence shouldn't be allowed to instigate their player's clever plan because the character is too dumb to have thought of it, characters with high Charisma should be role-played with high Charisma.
Sometimes, the DM has to say "no, try again, your character isn't doing that because their [stat] is too [low/high]".
Admittedly, a character with high Charisma can act however they like, in my opinion. Now, if they're acting annoying and uncouth, they should really have a REASON for doing it. For example, I don't see why a charismatic character can't act like a raging braggart, pompous and full of him/herself, right?
Oh were he only the braggart. He was haggling with the merchant like Milton from Office Space.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vd4fj9Efl4s
Talking in that exact fashion.

Everyone at the table was getting sick of it so I had to kick him out of the store to get him out of the scene.

Later in the same session I nearly killed everyone by sheer dice rolling luck. Elven Pirate Captains sure are tough.
Level 6 Swashbuckler using an Elven Courtblade(Finesse capable) 2h d10+Str 1.1/2+Int 18-20/2x crit range
He pumped a Cat's Grace before the battle sending his Dex into the 20's making him a tough target to hit even with Scorching Ray, the glass canon sorcerers favorite.

On the upside we may be getting another player and I added a Githzerai NPC Fighter who is built around using two spiked gauntlets. He's very stoic so he doesn't require much input. I'll also throw themn a bone and increase the Con of the Favored Soul since he is the closest thing to a tank they have besides the Githzerai.
Well, nothing can be said of players that intentionally troll :stab:
"We're so doomed!"
- Slings Words

Readers Clan Story Thread: Here
Readers Clan Fancomic: Risks and Side Effects
Readers Clan Fancomic 2: Heimspiel

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Re: Any DnD stories?

Post by Kamos » Tue Jul 16, 2013 3:21 pm

Players are the most deadly thing in the game. Even to other players.

So I had two weeks to plan our latest session and we picked up another player. First they go off and find a sewer grate that leads outside the sewer it's locked but there are footprints and a backback. They cleverly obtain the backback and search it finding explosive beads, correctly they assume this was going to be used to attack the already besieged city thus changing the course of the story and I was proud of them. Then they meet a Cajun Half-Orc in the sewers where they've been hired to clear out the undead so they can leave the besieged city. This Orc is behind a locked door and refused to open his door because, well, the sewers ARE crawling with undead.

The sorcerers solution to this conundrum? Scorching Ray the door and anything behind it. His companion passes a reflex and knocks his aim up so he only hits half the door. Through the view the Orc catches him with a Charm Person gaze pacifying him. Things break down when he demand compensation and the remaining party members beat him into submission. However an attempted healing spell incapacitates him.

Upon taking him into his room the sorcerer start looting until he wakes up. Upon city up the Favored Soul inquires if he has any healing measures and tells him he may be an undead himself given the effects of the healing spell. He says "Oh well of course I be undead, jus bein touch a vampire".

The sorcerer needs no further words to decide to kill him. In his eyes his character is Lawful and the contract says kill the undead. Aside from being considered a reprehensible action by the rest of the party considering they were the aggressors more or less. He also fumbles and Scorching Rays one of his allies.

Then the fight breaks out.
The Orc runs,
the Favored Soul covers his escape with Sanctuary,
the Orc Charms another party member,
the Sorcery kills the Favoured Soul with magic missiles,
The charmed Fighter won't moves for the Sorcerer,
The Duskblade hits the Sorcerer with a Seeking Ray nearly killing him,
The Sorcerer panics and lobs a fireball igniting the explosives they found in the early dungeon killing everyone bu the Orc and Duskblade
The Duskblade is killed trying to escape the dungeon.

********** **** ****** *****
Now I have no idea what to do. The Favored Souls patron deity brought im back to life and was not happy but everyone else? Ugh.
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Re: Any DnD stories?

Post by Genius Supreme » Fri Jul 19, 2013 6:53 am

Dungeons and Dragons stories!


I loooove] telling these!

Let's go back to my early D&D days. It's the year 2005 and I was, what some scientists denote as, a shitty Game Master. That was alright though, because all my friends were new and could not tell the difference! Also, they were kind of shitty at the time too.

So! Once upon an adventure...

My players had just arrived in the city of Im Lustarl, the capital of the great empire of Immortalia! *dramatic pause to allow the audience to cringe at the terribleness* 'Twas a busy realm based loosely on the roman empire and it was a realm run by a GM who'd hardly read the books, and thus had zany things like knightly orders of werewolf lords called Lyciaudar and 400 gold piece mules! Thrown into this terrible realm were three brave heroes:

A halfling thief, plucky and greedy, whose player (rightfully but annoyingly at the time) complained about everything!

A mighty fighter! He was tall, with jet black hair and a handsome countenance; his half-desert elf visage giving him a...gary stu look about him. He had a dark past (don't they all) a bastard sword and a chip on his shoulder the size of a dire tarrasque. For the sake of this story, we'll call him Laz.

Lastly, there was the cleric! A short, gangly fellow in simple robes who had every vow in the book of exalted deeds! He had vows of poverty, he had vows of peace! He had vows of nonviolence and vows to wear fleece! ....okay, I just made up that last one but there were a lot of them! Anyway, though good, he was extremely judgemental and his vows made it so that the party had a very difficult time declaring violent actions against others. Basically, anyone trying to take a violent action within 20 feet of him had to make a will save. If they failed, they couldn't commit violence. ...guess what tends to have higher will saving throws than party members? Big Bad End Guys you say? Someone fetch this bright young chap/lass a prize! *laughs heartily, which slowly turns into open weeping as he remembers this campaign*

So, looking back I suppose "brave heroes" might have been a bit of a stretch. But a fourth party member was also en route! ...who was a chain devil. *buries face in hands*

Let us move on. So, after a few *wacky* arguments with street vendors and an arrogant young nobleman (a story for another time), they set themselves up in a cozy dockside tavern and split up to wander.

And so we go to Laz, the mighty, as he scans the city for trouble...and trouble he finds! Before him is an old man playing with a group of children in the street, handing them sweets and laughing merrily. After a time, the old man takes the children back up into house and closes the door.

Laz, without further query, rushes forward, kicking down the door. The old man whirls about, dropping a plate, as the children stop the chomping sweets and stare at the fighter in horror. Laz gets a gigantic grin on his face and rushes toward the old man. The children begin screaming and running.

"Take this, you perverted freak!" Laz cries, drawing his bastard sword.

Well, an attack roll is rolled and faster than you can say "snicker-snack", the old man lies dead at Laz's feet. Laz grins in satisfaction, right until the children begin crying, weeping and throwing themselves upon the old man's corpse. They cry out about how "the mean man" hurt poor....jeez, I don't remember the old man's name. Anyways, how they hurt him and how they wondered what they were going to do now.

Now Laz's grin fades and he decides to have a look around. He finds beds for the children upstairs, toys, places for them to all eat, plenty of food for them and most importantly the distinct lack of a - to paraphrase the player - horrible sex-dungeon. So Laz confronts one of the children and asks her what's going on.

Child: W-we were orphans from the neighbourhood! B-but [OLD MAN'S NAME] always took us in and took care of us! W-we'll be on the streets now!

Laz goes pale, pauses, mumbles a quick "I'm sorry", puts a couple of gold pieces on the table and quickly leaves the children crying over their slain benefactor before the guard arrives.

And that is how Laz, the mighty warrior, slew a kind old man who ran an unofficial orphanage after assuming he was a pedophile.

Hope you enjoyed that!

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Kamos
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Re: Any DnD stories?

Post by Kamos » Fri Jul 19, 2013 3:48 pm

:lol:

Oh god that was good.
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