Forgath: Is that...?
Minmax: The treasure room!
Helmet: This is a helmet
Minmax: Look at all that loot! Look at that weird axe, what is that?! That's mine!
Minmax: And look at that! That's mine! And that thing over there! That thing's mine!
Minmax: How do you open this door?
Forgath: Looks like it needs a key. Probably a magical one.
Helmet: This is a helmet
Forgath: Do you think we bypassed the area with the key, when we took our shortcut through the ceiling?
Kin: Maybe.
Helmet: This a ..lmet
Kin: There's also the possibility that we've accidentally lost the key in an oblivion hole and now have no memory of ever possessing it.
Forgath: Guh. I hope not.
Necklace: ..N
Kin: Our two obvious options are to either backtrack, looking for a key, or wait here in hopes that someone with a key will come along. At which point we'll ambush them.
Forgath: Hmm.
Helmet: This is a helmet
Forgath: It might be a good idea to do both. We backtrack a little bit and if we can't find anything, we come back and set up an ambush for approaching alternates.
Kin: Agreed.
Helmet: This is a helmet
Forgath, or Kin: C'mon Minmax, let's go.
Minmax: Seriously? We get to the finish line and you guys want to leave?
Minmax: But why are we leaving?
Forgath: We explained it.
Minmax: This is stupid. We should go back to the loot.
Helmet: This is a helmet
Necklace: KEN
Kin: Shhh.
Kin: Do you hear that? It sounds like combat.
SFX: Klink
SFX: Clang
SFX: Crash
SFX: Clang
SFX: Catang
SFX: Thwunk
Someone: Oof!
Someone: Aah!
Minmax: It's coming from in that hole.
SFX: Thwang
SFX: Crunch
SFX: Fwack
Someone: Raah!
Wall 1: You've shown your skill..
Wall 2: You've shown your power.
Wall 2: But the key goes..
Wall 3: to the first up the tower
Wall 2: Choose the wrong key and the mouth will close..
Wall 2: choose correctly and up you goes
Ceiling: Avoid the key that bites and the key that thinks..
The key you want is the key that winks
Minmax: Wow, look at them all!
Forgath: It's like every remaining alt is funneled into this one room!
Helmet: This is a helmet
Kin: We're doing this section backwards.
Minmax: Huh?
Kin: Don't you see? By climbing through the ceiling, we've positioned ourselves above this key tower instead of entering the room at ground level as intended!
Necklace: ..N
Forgath: I don't know how much good it does us, though. The writing down there says if we choose the wrong key, this opening will close.
Helmet: This is a helmet
Kin: There must be a way to get down there, discern which is the correct key, obtain that key and ascend back up here.
Forgath: Well whatever we're going to do, we'd better do it fast. That crowd of battling alts is about to reach the top of the tower.
Minmax: You're the smart one. What should we do?
Kin: I... I don't know. We've failed this dungeon crawl almost two million times and this is most likely the closest we've come to victory.
Kin: ...and I have no idea how to proceed!
Necklace: KEN
Necklace: KEN
Minmax: I just realised that almost every moment we've ever spent together has been taken away like it never happened.
Necklace: KEN
-
Necklace: KE.
-
Minmax: I don't want this moment taken away.
Necklace: ..N
Kin: Forgath! See if you can...
Forgath: I know! I'm trying!
Helmet: This is a helmet
Necklace: KEN
Kin: Dammit! All the relevant mechanisms capable of
Kin: opening the door are on the other side of this wall!
Helmet: This is a helmet
Forgath: Kin?
Helmet: This is a helmet
Forgath: Kin?
Kin: What!
Helmet: This is a helmet
Forgath: If Minmax isn't with us when he enters the winner's circle, does he still win? Will he still be transported back home, even if he's in another part of the dungeon?
Helmet: This is a helmet
Kin: Of course!
Kin: You're right!
Kin: As long as he's alive, he'll be sent back to his reality with us!
Forgath: What happens if he's dead when we finish the race?
Necklace: KE.
Kin: Then we'll go back without him and he will stay dead.
Necklace: KEN
Forgath: Then let's not waste any time!
Helmet: This is a helmet
Narration by PsiMax: A lesser mind might have become frustrated with these delays.
Narration by PsiMax: My initial attempt to thrust this small realm and all within it into oblivion had failed because I was unaware that Minmax 156 and Kin 156 were in love. For this to work, almost every detail of this pocket dimension must be included in my equations.
Narration by PsiMax: But now I find myself facing yet another variable.
Narration by PsiMax: Something within the Maze of Many is causing non-existence to fluctuate slightly in a seemingly patternless matter. Something or someone is using pseudo-oblivion as a power source and mockingly punching holes in time itself. I've accounted for the existential power produced by the oblivion holes created as a result of my recent failure but this, although similar, is something else.
Narration by PsiMax: I'd be tempted to say that this is `impossible┬┤, but that is a word used only by idiots who lack the patience and reason to consider their own surroundings.
Narration by PsiMax: The tower battle will be happening now. Every possible outcome of that conflict gives me at least eight minutes before any alternates reach this area.
Narration by PsiMax: Enough time to explore my theories about the anomaly without being disturbed. Enough time to bathe us all in oblivion.
SFX: Ssssss
Forgath: Psionic Minmax.
Helmet: This is a helmet
Necklace: KEN
Forgath: We meet again.
-
Forgath: But this time, I'm not bolted to a wall.
Helmet: This is a helmet
Necklace: KEN
PsiMax: Cliched dialogue is fun, isn't it?
Forgath: Rhaaah!
Helmet: This is a helmet
Necklace: .EN
-
SFX: Thu-Clunk
Sign: Verily the first to enter the circle of blue shall be victorious
Sign: And so the victors shall return to their land of home by entering the circle of red
PsiMax: Reality one hundred fifty six. How is it that you were able to make it so far, so quickly?
-
Necklace: KEN
-
Kin: Uh!
Necklace: KE.
PsiMax: You've acquired all three keys. Why? How? The tower room is designed in such a way as to disallow that outcome.
-
Kin: Nnn!
Necklace: KEN
Kin: Ah!
Necklace: KE.
-
SFX: Splishk
PsiMax: Where is your Minmax?
PsiMax: If he were dead, you'd be purposefully losing this maze run, thereby resetting his death. Since you were trying to win, he is obviously alive. Why isn't he with you?
Necklace: KEN
PsiMax: I suppose it's to be expected that you wouldn't answer my questions. And since I've traded in my ability to control minds for extra intelligence, I'm forced to use your cursed leash.
Kin: N-no! No! Not the leash again! Please!
Necklace: K..
Forgath: Stop it! Look, I'll tell you all about how we got up here! Leave her alone!
Helmet: This is a helmet
PsiMax: But you may lie. By clasping Kin's leash and commanding her to answer my questions, she's forced to tell me the truth. No, it's better to...
Necklace: KEN
Forgath: "Out of hell"? What are you talking about?! You're an evil lunatic!
PsiMax: You really see me as evil? Why? I'm not responsible for all of this pain. I didn't create the laws of physics. I didn't establish the details of social interaction in such a way as to include the all too common outcome of violence in the face of disagreement. I didn't ensure that the organic body was designed with such sensitive nerve endings capable of producing nightmarish worlds of physical pain.
PsiMax: I didn't write the rules.
PsiMax: In fact, I hate the rules. All I want, is to get out of the way of this conflict between creation and destruction. Between good and evil. I have no interest in taking sides or playing by these horrific rules. I simply want to remove myself and by extension, this dungeon, from existence. And I believe that you may have information that can help me do that.
Forgath: You think you're neutral?!
Forgath: You killed Kin!
PsiMax: And in the time that we've been talking, a dozen others have died painful deaths in the tower room below us.
PsiMax: What makes Kin one hundred fifty six more important than them?
Forgath: She was my friend, dammit!
PsiMax: And that gives her more value than any other being in existence? I wonder what it's like to see yourself with such omnipotent importance.
Narration by PsiMax: Three instances of digression. Three unexpected delays. The first came from my failure to calculate the love between that Minmax and Kin. The second was the appearance of that Forgath and Kin in an area I was sure they could not reach. The third is the as yet unexplained fluctuation of non-existence.
Forgath: So if you think you're so awesome, why don't you fight me?!
Narration by PsiMax: Since the first two problems are connected with reality one hundred fifty six, it is probable that the third is as well. I suspect that by finding and observing Minmax one hundred fifty six, I'll discover what's causing the fluctuations.
Forgath: Hey! I'm talking to you!
Onyx: Judging by your condition and by how much you seem to want that mug, we're guessing there's some of that Healing Potion river in it.
Sapphire: Wow. Look at all that treasure.
Lifepoints Kin: -3
Necklace: KEN
Kin: Why?
Necklace: KEN
Kin: Why are you helping me?
Necklace: KEN
Ruby: We're trying to form a group. Kins only.
Onyx: We'd like you to join us.
Kin: But you're all from different realities. When the maze restarts, you'll all be separated.
Sapphire: We're working on a fix for that. This place is a pocket universe. Much smaller and simpler than a standard universe. That means the physics which govern the universal laws are simpler. Since we Kins are geniuses, we can put our heads together and maybe rewrite some of those laws.
Onyx: If we can figure out how to do that, we can establish ourselves as a group. We could also make it so we remember each run through the maze. Then, when we've gathered enough XP and loot, we could exit together, into any reality we wanted.
Kin: Someone is already doing that. A psionic variation of Minmax. Except he plans to throw this place and everyone in it, into oblivion. He's very powerful.
Kin: He stole my Forgath and liquefied my tail.
Necklace: KEN
Ruby: Really.
Ruby: Well let's go liquefy something of his.
Necklace: KE.
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Narration by PsiMax: There. That's a temporal and existential distortion.
Narration by PsiMax: I'll need to obtain that sword so I can take measurements and find out how much damage it's done to my calculations.
Narration by PsiMax: I can't kill Forgath one hundred fifty six yet. As I still need to find out how he reached this area. But that sowrd takes precedent.
Narration by PsiMax: I detest direct combat and I loathe climactic, "final battles".
Narration by PsiMax: Still. What must be done, must be done.
SFX: Thhhuk
-
Forgath: Eh?
Forgath: Aw crap, it's you guys!
Onyx: No sign of the psion, Ruby, but take a look at this.
Ruby: I don't believe it.
Sapphire: Look at this! He's created psionic gears, each capable of distorting a different universal constant.
Forgath: Kin! You're alive!
Kin: Forgath, where's the psion?!
Forgath: He teleported away without a word. What the hell is going on?!
Sapphire: Wow...
Narration by Sapphire: He's actually removing the paradoxical aspects of proving that 1=0 and applying that law to every mathematically relevant detail in this universe!
-
-
Narration by Sapphire, Onyx, or Ruby: That would indeed create new logic that would prove we've never existed, but where is he getting all of the energy that this would require?
Text on wall: You've shown your power
Text on wall: Choos. wro.. key an. mout. clo
Narration by Sapphire, Onyx, or Ruby: It looks like each of these gears are storing and amplifying mental energy as well as manipulating physics. Amazing.
Text on wall: You've shown your power
Text on wall: Choos. wro.. key an. mout. clo
Kin: The psion will need Oblivious.
Sapphire: What?
Ruby: That sentence makes no sense.
Necklace: KEN
Kin: Oblivious is a sword belonging to my Minmax. The psion will need it to calculate how much is has effected non-existence. Normally, it can't be stolen, but I wouldn't be surprised if the psion can bend this universe, causing Oblivious to belong to him.
Necklace: KEN
Kin: If Minmax summons that sword, we're all doomed.
Necklace: KEN
-
Minmax: Aaah!
SFX: Kwoooom
Minmax: Aaaah!
Minmax: Uh!
Minmax: Oof!
PsiMax: Hello, Minmax one hundred fifty six. Remember me?
Kin: There has to be a way to communicate with him!
Ruby: We're working on it!
Necklace: KEN
-
SFX: Fwush
Kin: Minmax!
Kin: The purple armed alt is trying to destroy everyone in the maze and he needs Oblivious to do it! Don't summon your sword! If he succeeds, we're all gone forever! No one will reset after this!
Narration by PsiMax: So she's alive and has managed to upset at least eleven minor variables, but it's nothing I can't easily...
-
Badge: MM
Badge: M
Helmet: H
Badge: MM
unshaded version
NOTE: for some reason, the shaded version seems to have disappeared, and the unshaded version reappeared. Can't find the shaded one as image either, using the standard file names. shaded version originally was http://www.goblinscomic.com/comic/06182013/
Onyx: That psion is grossly over powered.
Ruby: Your Minmax won't be able to defeat him.
Necklace: KEN
Kin: You don't know my Minmax.
Necklace: KEN
Caption (Psimax): Where did he go?
-
Minmax: Rhaaa!
SFX: Casplinka
SFX: Clank
SFX: Splishk
Kin: Yeah. Yeah, no, you were right. He's going to lose.
Necklace: KEN
Ruby: How can his power be so limitless? He has no weakness.
Unknown (likely Onyx): He does. Look at his psionic gears. He's funneled all of his weaknesses into one point and translated it into mathematics.
Unknown (likely Ruby or Kin): But that would amplify his weaknesses many times. Like sunlight through a magnifying glass.
Onyx: Yes, but like a magnifying glass, it concentrates his weaknesses into one small spot. In this case, a number.
Unknown (likely Ruby or Kin): So to do damage to him, all anyone has to do, is attack him in a manner that directly connects to that number.
Onyx: Yes!
Unknown (likely Ruby or Kin): So what's the number?
Onyx: ...
Unknown (likely Ruby or Kin): Well?
Onyx: ...
Onyx: 77,914,839,447
Seventy-seven billion nine hundred fourteen million eight hundred thirty-nine thousand four hundred forty-seven.
no unshaded version, but a second shaded one online. Update error?
Kin: But how can we attack him in a way that directly connects to that number?! That's virtually impossible!
Onyx: I think that's why he chose that number.
Sapphire: If he chose that number, then we should be able to change it.
Onyx: That would require incredibly complex calculations.
Sapphire: So we're going to save the universe...
Sapphire: ...with math?
-
Ruby: Okay, 1 would obviously be the best number to change it to, since by definition, any 'one' thing would be the psion's weakness.
Sapphire: 1 is too common though. It has too many attributions. That'd take weeks of calculating.
Ruby: What about 2?
Kin: Whoa, wait! A prime number?! Are you trying to kill us all?!
Ruby: oh, good point.
Kin: What about 4? Minmax could hit him with 'four' rocks or something.
Forgath: What about 6?
Forgath: I mean... Minmax is six feet tall, so wouldn't he become the psion's weakness because... you know...
Forgath: ...he's connected to 6?
Ruby: No. 'Feet' are just a unit of measurement arbitrarily designated by humanoids. It's not a universal constant.
Kin: But what about the reality numbers assigned to each of two hundred eighteen groups in the maze? My group is number 156. Outside the Maze of Many,
Kin: it has no meaning, but in this place, it is a universal constant.
Necklace: KEN
Ruby or Onyx: Hey, that's true! Your Minmax would be immune to all the psion's powers! He'd chew him up like a mouse!
Sapphire: It's no good. 156 is being used as one of the foundational numbers for logic.
Sapphire: See?
Ruby: Can't we assign another number to that task?
Sapphire: You want to reprogram basic logic? Geez, that'd take at least an hour
Kin: Well, there are other alternates still alive down there, why not change it to one of their numbers? After all, it doesn't have to be my Minmax who kills the psion, right?
Onyx: True, but I don't know anyone else's number, do you?
Kin: Sigh. No.
Kin: Wait. Hey! I know that guy! What about changing it to number 38?!
Beltbuckle: I am great
Onyx, Ruby, Kin, or Sapphire: Yaay!
Onyx, Ruby, Kin, or Sapphire: Yeah!
Onyx, Ruby, Kin, or Sapphire: Woohoo!
Forgath: So can I get down now?
Necklace: KEN
Kin: How did he do it?
Sapphire: I don't know! There must be a connection to 38 that we're not aware of.
Forgath: This Dwarf would like to get out of the air now.
Necklace: .EN
Kin: So can we teleport Minmax up here?
Sapphire: I think so. This piece seems out of place, but is connected to teleportation.
Ruby: No, that piece is connected to teleportation and reconstruction. What's it for?
Sapphire: I don't know.
Necklace: KEN
Forgath: Aaaaah!
Forgath: Getitoffgetitoff! Getitoffgetitoff! It wants to eat me!
Onyx: Oh, that's just Symun. He used to belong to the Forgath in my reality. He must think you're him.
Forgath: Ew ew ew! He's licking my face! Wait, do spiders even have tongues?!
Onyx: No, they don't.
Forgath: Then what the hell is he licking me with?!
Kin: There you go, Forgath.
Necklace: KEN
SFX: Th-Klanc
Forgath: Ew ew ew ew!
Sapphire: There. That gear should bring your Minmax up here.
Necklace: KEN
Panel 2: original text: "The Dwarf would like to get out of the air now." Another shaded image
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Minmax: Get off me!
Forgath: They're on our side now, you jackass! They're offering us support!
Ruby: Let's not go crazy, Dwarf. The Silkscale clan does not "support" Humans and the like. We're simply deciding not to kill you, for now.
Ruby: Let's not forget that you left us to those zombies.
Forgath: Oh, I'm sorry, did we not react properly when you were trying to kill us? What's the proper protocol?! As you're stabbing us, we give you cake and back rubs?!
Minmax (through the Oblivious time portal): Remember me?
Minmax: Kin?
Forgath: Look, this is cute and all, but only one group gets to enter that blue circle and win the race. So which one of us is going to...
SFX: Fwuuaaash
Forgath: The hell was that?
Forgath: Hey!
Forgath: I've got my beard back!
Forgath: Hey! I used to have a beard! How the hell did I forget that I used to have a beard?!
Minmax: Oh yeah. I totally forgot about your beard. I didn't even notice when you cut it.
Forgath: I didn't cut it!
Kin: You must have lost it in an oblivion hole, causing us to lose all memory of it.
Necklace: KEN
Ruby: I knew it. That explains the reconstruction aspect of this set of gears. It'll heal all hit points and even replace missing body parts or severely scarred tissue with newly created matter. See these funneling rods? They're obviously designed to use the target's individual magic effect as an energy source. Genius.
Sapphire: Hmmm. It looks like the newly created matter is much more dense. I bet it's almost impervious to physical damage. But why is this here?
Minmax: Did you hear that? You gotta touch that thing and get your tail back!
Necklace: .EN
Sapphire: Hang on, though. When Forgath touched it, he started some kind of countdown. See? These bits are spinning closer and closer to the center and I'm not sure why. Let's not...
Minmax: She's getting her tail back whether you like it or...
SFX: Fwuuaaash
Minmax: What.
Minmax: What just happened?
Minmax: Why does everyone look purple-ish?
Necklace: KEN
Sapphire: Look! See? The bits are spinning even faster now. Counting down to...
Sapphire: ...I don't know what.
Kin: It could be counting down to the deactivation of the device itself. If we wait, I may lose my chance to get my tail back.
Ruby: That's possible. Even so, that's a risk I'm willing to take.
Necklace: .EN
SFX: Fwuuaaash
Kin: Ha ha!
Necklace: KEN
Minmax (or Kin): Oof!
Necklace: KE.
-
-
-
Ruby: May I speak privately with you for a moment?
Inspiration for panel 3: link 1, link 2 Original text in last panel: "Can I speak privately with you for a moment?"
Sign: Verily the first to enter the circle of blue shall be victorious
Sign: And so the victors shall return to th... land of home by entering the circle of ...
Ruby: I'm going to say "stop this" and you're going to ask "stop what", despite the obvious fact that we'll both know what I'm referring to. Let's bypass that part.
Ruby: You wear the same collar I do, so I'm assuming that you've gone through the same tortures that I have. Join our party and stop normalizing that... relationship with the Human.
Kin: They call you Ruby, right? To avoid confusion? Well Ruby, I think you're oversimplifying and looking at my situation through an emotional filter. Minmax is not like...
Necklace: KEN
Ruby: If you say "he's not like other Humans", I think both of my stomachs are going to throw up. He will turn on you.
Kin: I can trust him.
Ruby: How could you possibly know that?
Necklace: KEN
Kin: Because of this. When he gave me this, I knew that for whatever reason, my happiness held importance for him.
Necklace: KEN
Ruby: Oh, you have got to be kidding me. Listen, get away from him while you can. We've both survived what Dellyn did to us, so...
Kin: No, I've survived. I'm healing while you're feeding your hatred for Dellyn's race like you're picking at an infected wound.
Necklace: KEN
Kin: Sigh.
Kin: Look...
Necklace: KEN
Kin: I think we're both on the same side. We're just... different.
Necklace: KEN
Ruby: Yes.
Ruby: We are different.
Ruby: I wear one collar that can control my actions.
Forgath: We still haven't worked out who gets to win the race.
Onyx: You guys are going to win this one.
Forgath: Seriously? Just like that? You're just going to give it to us?
Onyx: Well Sapphire is using the psionic gears to trick the maze into thinking that the three of us all come from the same reality. She's also arranged it so we'll keep all memory of each run through, from this point on. This will allow us to run the maze as many times as we like an level up quite a bit before leaving this place.
Minmax: Hey, look. We don't need your pity, okay?
Sapphire: Yes you do. I looked it up. You guys have failed one million, nine hundred eighty two thousand, seven hundred seventy one times.
Sapphire: That's like... really awful.
Onyx: Take the pity win.
Forgath: But what about the glass wall? The psion destroyed the keys.
Onyx: No problem, I've got a couple of them in one of my bags of moulding.
Forgath or Minmax: "Moulding"?
Onyx: Bags of mini-holding.
Onyx: These keys are peppered all over the maze, along with hints that you may need them later. You guys didn't see any of these when you were dungeon crawling?
-
Flashback panel: Attribute shield: ..n...le...
Flashback panel: Badge: MM
Forath and Minmax: No.
Original of the flashback panels: panels 2 and 6 of this page
Forgath: So I guess this is goodbye. Hey, after we kill these Goblins we're chasing, maybe we'll swing by the Maze of many and say hi some day.
SFX: Fa-Wumf
Helmet: This is a helmet
Onyx: What? No one can ever come back into the maze once they've left.
Sapphire: Yeah. The maze exists in one segment of time. If you re-enter, you'd be in it twice at once. You'd become a redundant reality and poof out of existence.
Helmet: This is a helmet
SFX: Fwuuaaash
Helmet: This is a helmet
-
SFX: Thut
Kin: That's what the device was counting down to!
Minmax: You!
Necklace: KEN
Psimax: So, a collaboration. This is how you were able to steal control of my psionic gears.
Psimax: Well I'll be taking control back now.
Last edited by Krulle on Thu Apr 29, 2021 12:46 am, edited 3 times in total.
Ruby: The hell you are! Even in the simplified physics of this pocket dimension, resurrection will have left you psionically exhausted. We can kick your ass.
Psimax: Indeed, you could. But the purpose of the resurrection, as a pre-established security measure, is to gather information. Now that I know how my "death" occurred, I can regain control of my gears immediately after the maze is reset. I'll undo any changes you've made to my setup and make certain that this can't happen again. Frankly, I find it shocking that with your combined intellect, you never considered that I would have taken steps to prevent anyone from taking control of something as powerful as my psionic gears.
Psimax: But "kick my ass" if you like. Feel free to kill me. Or don't. It makes no difference because I'll succeed after the maze reset. And if you or someone like you stops me, I'll simply succeed after the reset of that. You will have forgotten these events after the reset, but I will remember. There's no limit to the number of times I can improve my tactics and so there's no chance of failure. I will thrust this place and everyone in it into true oblivion. So you see, no matter what you do, I will win, eventually.
-
Minmax: No.
Minmax: You win now.
SFX: Ding Congratulations! You have won the Maze of Many!
SFX: Ding Congratulations! You have selected your magical treasure and will now be safely returned to your reality!
-
Psimax: Nooooooo
Psimax: oooo
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Minmax: Treasuuuuuuuuurrrre!
Onyx: Now as far as we can tell, the magic items in this room are designed to apply to the winning group, but there's nothing stopping your group from taking them.
Several description texts on the floor, too small to read.
Onyx: Since the victory technically went to the psion, you won't be able to use the red circle to return to your reality. However, if one of you chooses that Jade Teapot as your prize, you can use that to teleport home.
Forgath: Isn't your group going to take any of this stuff?
Onyx: There's no point. Once we start the next run through the maze, we'll retain all our memories, but our physical actions will be removed from the existing timeline. We can only keep the items we collect on our final run.
Onyx: Now remember, the room only allows each person to choose one item. So take your time and choose very careful...
Minmax: Hey, guess what's mine!
Ruby: It's not too late, you know. Come with us. Use the teapot to send the Human and Dwarf away and then join us. The teapot itself can't be teleported anyway, so you can't go with them, if you have any hope of returning it to the Silkscale clan.
Necklace: KE.
Kin: Well I'm actually thinking of asking them to come with me to return the teapot.
Ruby: What? But how would that work? You can't leave through the circle, so you'd all have to go back to trying to win the Maze of Many. You're not thinking.
Necklace: KEN
Ruby: Look. my group will be spending the next day or two learning from and altering the psionic gears. So you've got time before the maze resets. If you change your mind, come and find us.
Ruby: Just promise me that you'll keep an open mind. I assure you that you will realise that you can't trust him.
Kin: I know that I can. But I promise to keep an open mind.
Necklace: KEN
Ruby: That's all I ask. Goodbye, Kin. I wish you all the best.
Kin: You too, Kin.
Forgath: You took another level in fighter? How can you be level 4 already? I'm still level 3.
Minmax: You shoulda kicked ass in the tower room like I did. Hey, what do you think of my new axe?
Helmet: This is a helmet
Forgath: I think you wasted your choice by grabbing the first shiny thing you saw.
Minmax: Hey, I'll have you know that this is a +7 axe!
Helmet: This is a helmet
Forgath: It's not a +7 axe. That'd be stupidly over powered. And how would you know anyways? You haven't used it.
Minmax: I read the description. All the loot has a description written on the floor, under it.
Helmet: This is a helmet
Forgath: Minmax, you can't read.
Minmax: I know what a seven looks like.
Minmax: There, see? +7!
Forgath: It says it's a +7 against a race that matches that of the wielder. Otherwise it's only a +1.
Helmet: This is a helmet
Minmax: That does that mean`?
Forgath: It means that for you, it's a +7 against Humans. If, say, an Elf uses it, it's a +7 against Elves.
Minmax: Wha? That's racist.
Helmet: This is a helmet
Forgath: How is that racist?
Minmax: It only grants the big bonus against certain races? That's totally racist!
Forgath: Sigh. I don't have the energy to argue about your dumb axe of racism.
Minmax: That's bullcrap! I didn't do any acts of racism!
Helmet: This is a helmet
Forgath: No, I mean your racist axe.
Minmax: I didn't commit any racist acts!
Helmet: This is a helmet
Forgath: Okay, this is getting stupid. Listen, you may be an idiot, but Kin and I are going to carefully read each description before we...
Helmet: This is a helmet
Kin: Hey, guess what's mine!
Helmet: This is a helmet
Narration (by Minmax): I've lost count of how long we've been trapped in this awful room.
Narration (by Minmax): How many days has it been? How many weeks?
Narration (by Minmax): If it wasn't for the fountains of mudhoney, I'm sure we'd have starved by now.
Narration (by Minmax): I've lost all hope, after this much time, I'm losing my sanity. But we can't leave. And why can't we leave?
Minmax: Because Forgath won't choose his damn loot!
Helmet: This is a helmet
Forgath:It's only been fifteen minutes. Shut up!
Helmet: This is a helmet
Forgath: Besides, I've made my choice.
Minmax: You're choosing that hammer?
Forgath: It's not a hammer, it's a mace. Forged by Dwarven clerics, thousands of winters ago.
Helmet: This is a helmet
Minmax: Oh come on, that's totally a hammer.
Forgath: It's an oval mace.
Minmax: An oval mace is a hammer!
Forgath: In this mode, I get a combat bonus from the mace.
Minmax: You mean from the hammer?
Helmet: This is a helmet
Forgath: But if I put my hand in the mace...
Minmax: You mean in the hammer?
Forgath: ... it separates into a staff that auto-displays my holy symbol and grants bonuses to spell casting. The stone fist adds to my armour class. It's an incredible mace.
Minmax: You mean an incredible hammer?
Helmet: This is a helmet
Forgath: Alright, that's enough! You're trying to annoy me on purpose and I've had it! Stop acting like a child, start acting like an adventurer and get off my case!
Helmet: This is a helmet
Kin: Why don't you just call it `The Hammace┬┤?
Forgath: Fine. It's the hammace. Whatever.
Helmet: This is a helmet
Minmax: So.
Kin: So.
-
Minmax: Listen, I know we're supposed to split up now, but I was thinking. Um... why don't you come with us? We're going to battle some evil Goblins and save the world. It's going to be awesome.
Kin: Actually, I was wondering if maybe you'd like to come with... well... this is difficult to ask.
Caption (Minmax): You can ask me anything. You trust me, right?
Necklace: .EN
Caption (Kin): Yes, I trust you, Minmax.
Necklace: KEN
Necklace: KEN
Necklace: KEN
Kin: But why do I trust you?
Minmax: What?
Kin: Maybe we're rushing into something dangerous. Maybe we should stick with our original plan.
Minmax: Huh?
Kin: Minmax, you're an amazing Human being. Thank you for everything. I'm going to brew up the magical tea so you and Forgath can drink it and teleport to where you need to go. I think that's safest.
Minmax: I mean... in that 'true seeing' way you talked about.
Kin: Oh Minmax. No.
Kin: I told you, that can only happen within my species and it happens between two individuals. I care for you deeply, Minmax, but... but I don't see you.
Minmax: But when your tail got wrecked! I was in the tower room and I... saw it! I didn't understand at the time, but I knew... well I... well...
Minmax: Don't go.
Kin: Please stop making this harder than it already is.
Minmax: Kin, just listen to me!
Kin: I did listen to you. It's time for you to go now.
Minmax: Wait! Just give me a chance to talk! Just listen to me! Please!
Minmax: So did you talk to her? Did you tell her I'm sorry? What did she say? Is she coming with us?
SFX: Click
Helmet: This is a helmet
Forgath: She's activated the teapot and it's magically brewing the tea right now. We're going to drink it and teleport to the Goblins. Kin will take a different path.
Helmet: This is a helmet
Minmax: But did...
Helmet: This is a helmet
Minmax: Did you tell her I'm sorry?
Forgath: Yeah.
Helmet: This is a helmet
-
Minmax: Well... Well do you think I should go talk to her?
Forgath: I don't think that'd be a good idea.
Helmet: This is a helmet
Minmax: Well did you tell her I'm sorry?
Helmet: This is a helmet
Helmet: This is a helmet
-
-
Minmax: Did you tell her I'm sorry?
-
Last edited by Krulle on Thu Apr 29, 2021 12:46 am, edited 4 times in total.
Minmax: Um... Hi.
Minmax: Where's your green teapot thingy?
Kin: It's in the other room. We only need these cups for the process to...
Minmax: Kin. I'm really sorry.
-
Kin: Forgath, this is the navigation tea.
Kin: Drink it while thinking of one of the Goblins. The other tea is the activation tea and will follow you.
Helmet: This is a helmet
Kin: The process won't begin until the activation tea is drunk.
Minmax: Kin.
Minmax: I'm sorry.
Kin: I know.
-
Minmax: I don't want to drink the tea.
Minmax: Listen, whatever I can do to prove to you how sorry I am... Whatever I can do to prove how I feel, I'll do it. You want me to kill a Dragon with my bare hands? I'll do it! You want me to find the rarest treasure? To quit adventuring? I'll do it! Just tell me what to do and I promise I'll do it!
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o) (flashback): Senor Vorpal Kickass'oooooo!
Forgath (flashback): Wow. You got your ass kicked by a goblin who's even dumber than you.
Minmax (flashback): Shut up. I'm making a fortitude save to not puke.
Minmax: You're that Vorpal Kickass'o Jerk! You're dead meat, too!
Complains of Names: You touch him Minmax and I'll cut your ugly pink head off!
Minmax: Shut up, you orange booger! I'm not talking to you!
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
Complains of Names: Ears! Thaco! Here comes Kore!
Minmax: The Golins are leaving. Why are the Goblins leaving?
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
Minmax: Huh? Who's that guy?
Forgath: Wait. Kore? You mean like... The Kore?
Helmet: This is a helmet
SFX: Smmaaaassshhh
Forgath: The cursed scourge of the realm? Last of the Greyhill Paladins? That Kore? Oh no.
Minmax: Who cares about some dumb paladin!? You're letting the Goblins get away!
Helmet: This is a helmet
SFX: Kathunk
Minmax: Aah!
SFX: Kathunk Ka.hunk
Helmet: This is a helmet
Minmax: What's that guy's problem?! I thought you said he's a paladin!
Forgath: Get behind me! I'm still wearing that +4 ring vs missile weapons!
SFX: Tek
Helmet: This is a helmet
Complains of Names: Oh crap, this looks complicated!
Thaco: We have to get this door open!
Minmax: Let go of me! I'm gonna kick that Dwarf's ass!
Forgath: No one can defeat Kore in a fight! We have to run!
SFX: Thwump
Forgath: Minmax, listen to me! Remember that Talking Wall in Brassmoon?
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
Forgath (flashback): She also said that a Dwarf would kill me.
Minmax (flashback): What?
Helmet (flashback): This is a helmet
Badge (flashback): .M
Talking Wall (flashback): Oh yeah, that's totally going to happen.
Talking Wall (flashback): And not a good death either.
Talking Wall (flashback): Lots of screaming.
Helmet (flashback): This is a helmet
Badge (flashback): MM
Beltbuckle (flashback): am ..eat
-
Minmax: I got ya, brother! I'll keep you safe!
Forgath: Mmmf!
Wall: To open the door
Wall: take the key.
Wall: It will be yours
Wall: if under the tree.
Complains of Names: What does it mean?
Thaco: I think we have to move those squares around until the `key┬┤ is under the `tree┬┤.
Forgath: Kore is getting closer!
Helmet: .his a ...met
Big Ears, or Complains of Names: We can't even touch the door! It's blocked by these damn bars!
Forgath: Goblins. If I go distract Kore, will the four of you be able to move those tiles around and get the key to open this door?
Minmax: You're not going out there! You just told me that we can't defeat him, Forgath!
Helmet: This is a helmet
Forgath: I don't have to defeat him, I only have to keep him busy for awhile. You'd better give me the axe though, it'll give me a +7 against him.
Helmet: This is a helmet
Minmax: Well I'm coming with you!
Forgath: You're the only one strong enough to hold up these bars.
Minmax: But the prophecy!
Forgath: It's okay, once the door is open, I'll be right behind you.
Helmet: This is a helmet
Minmax: Forgath.
Minmax: Don't leave me alone.
Minmax: Don't... don't die, okay?
Helmet: This is a helmet
Helmet: This is a helmet
Helmet: This is a helmet
-
-
Last edited by Krulle on Thu Apr 29, 2021 12:46 am, edited 4 times in total.
Minmax: That's it! You Goblins are taking too long! I'm dropping these bars and going to help Forgath!
Thaco, Complains of Names, or Big Ears: If you drop the bars, we won't have enough room to work the tiles! Just give us a few more rounds!
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Ah!
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Aah!
Thaco: Dammit Fumbles! This is a bad time for you to be fumbling!
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Nnn!
SFX: Kkkk
Complains of Names: Vorpal, what are you doing?
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
SFX: Kkwup
Big Ears, or Thaco: I... I don't believe it!
Complains of Names: Of course!
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
Big Ears: I'm going to help the Dwarf!
Thaco: Which one, the paladin who wants you dead or the cleric who wants you dead?
Minmax: Hurry up!
Complains of Names: It's stuck! I almost got it!
Forehead Fumbles (Se├▒or Vorpal Kickass'o): ..nster
-
SFX: Shklank
SFX: Clang
Forgath: Huff
Forgath: Huff
Forgath: Huff
Helmet: This is a helmet
Forgath: Rraaw!
Helmet: This is a helmet
Forgath: Hrnnnn!
Helmet: This is a helmet
SFX: Thh.huunk
Helmet: This is a helmet
Last edited by Krulle on Thu Apr 29, 2021 12:46 am, edited 3 times in total.
Kore: Your armour. ...k... Your helmet. I ...kk... recognize the construction. You're ...k... a Dwarf from the Bladebeard clan, aren't you?
Helmet: This is a helmet
Kore: I ...k... recently ...k... killed an evil Bladebeard Dwarf. Now that I've found another one, I'm convinced that your entire ...kk... clan is evil.
Kore: ...kk... Your clan is based on the other side of this mountain, yes? After I've killed ...k... you, your Goblin friends and the Human you called Minmax, I'll use the Axe of Prissan to ...k... wipe out your evil clan.
Kore: I want to thank you for showing me how much they ...k..kk... all need to be brought to justice.
SFX: Krunch
Helmet-plaque: This is a helmet
SFX: Tink
Helmet-plaque: This is a helmet
SFX: Tatink
Helmet-plaque: This is a helmet
Big Ears: Complains, what are you doing?
Complains of Names: I'm keeping a promise, Ears. I swore a death oath on this human.
Big Ears: Now isn't the time.
Complains of Names: What?!
Big Ears: Just look at him. He's not an opponent right now. He's a victim. He's broken.
Complains of Names: Not broken enough.
Minmax: I lost them both, Names.
Minmax: I lost them both.
-
SFX: Splasshh
-
Thaco: There's a fine line between fury and evil.
Thaco: Find it.
Thaco: And never cross it again, or I'll cut you down, myself.
-
Complains of Names: Well... Well that's great. That's just great! Let's heal him up. Let him join us!
SFX: Splish
Complains of Names: Let's make sure he's nice and healthy when he slits our throats!
Thaco: Listen...
Complains of Names: No! He killed most of the members of our camp!
Thaco: Of our war camp. War is always tragic and unfair.
Thaco: We killed members of his group too, Complains. You don't get to claim moral flexibility simply by holding a candle up to your own loss.
Complains of Names: You want to talk about morals while you're choosing this murdering human over your own son?! You'd better keep your promise and "cut me down",
because the only way you're going to save Minmax is by killing me!
Thaco: You're being ridiculous.
Complains of Names: No! I'm being a Goblin! One of us has to!
Thaco: What the hell does that...
Complains of Names: you were supposed to be chief! But instead, you sat on your ass and let someone else do your job!
Complains of Names: I'm doing what needs to be done for this clan! If you want to kill me for that, then go ahead!
SFX: Thump
Thaco: Don't.
Thaco: Do that.
Thaco: Again.
Complains of Names: No! Cut me down like you...
SFX: Thwup
Thaco: This is what you want?! You want me to kill you ?!
Complains of Names: Yes! I want you to kill me!
Thaco: Why?! Because I won't let you murder some stupid Human?!
Complains of Names: Nooooo!
Complains of Names: Because...
Complains of Names: Because I...
Complains of Names: I couldn't...
Complains of Names: I wasn't fast enough.
Complains of Names: I killed our Chief.
Complains of Names: Father...
Complains of Names: I'm...
Complains of Names: Oh Gods, I'm so sorry!
Thaco: We all did everything we could.
Thaco: None of us could have stopped the adventurer.
Thaco: It's not your fault.
Caption: Moments later...
Thaco: I just think we should talk about what to do with Minmax.
Complains of Names: Fumbles isn't joining in on this?
Big Ears: No, he still won't talk, no matter what I say or do.
Thaco or Complains of Names: But during our fight with Kore, he yelled his name. He yelled Senor Vorpal Kickass'o. That's kinda talking.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
Big Ears: Well he hasn't said a word since then. He won't respond at all. He just silently clings to that mustache.
Big Ears: I'm getting worried that he's... well he's not going to get better.
Big Ears: Don't you touch him, Human!
Thaco: Ears, look.
Minmax: You Goblins are so stupid. You don't know anything about facial hair. It can't just go all over the place. It's gotta go together. Like this.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
Forgath: Everybody enjoying their meal? Yeah? Is it yummy?
SFX: Crunch
Forgath: It was only made by my father before he died in battle, that's all. It's only irreplaceable. But no, you... you all enjoy yourselves.
SFX: Clanch
SFX: Craaunch
Forgath: What.
Forgath: What do you want?
Forgath: Salt?
SFX: Klik
-
Forgath: Sigh. It's okay, go ahead. You did save my life and the suit is mostly eaten anyways.
SFX: Klik Klik Klik Klik
SFX: Crunch Munch Munch Muncha
Forgath: Okay, so I have no armour, no weapon and I have to somehow get inside this mountain and find Minmax before Kore finds him. Maybe I can...
???: Maybe you can shut your annoying mouth for five seconds, you bearded noisemaker.
Forgath: Who said that?!
Forgath: Hey!
Forgath: Can one of you talk?!
SFX: Muncha Muncha
Forgath: Hey you. Salt. It wasn't you, was it?
SFX: Klik Klik Klik
Forgath: Yeah, I didn't think so.
Forgath: Which one of you said that? Hello?
Forgath: Come on, who was it? Raise your hand. Come on. Just raise your hand like this.
Forgath: Sigh. No, not... Okay, let's try this another way.
Bowst: Listen Dwarf, you're obviously a low level adventurer who doesn't even have any armour or weapons yet! Me and Idle are each level three! So respect your superiors, pal!
Forgath: But I'm a level four cleric.
Idle: You're a cleric?!
Idle: Hey Fork Ass!
Forgath: Forgath.
Idle: Sorry. Forgath. Do you know how to cast remove curse?
Forgath: Um, no. Not until level five. Why. Are you cursed?
Bowst: We both are.
Idle: Yeah, like... a lot. We're covered in 'em. We recently did this dungeon crawl called The Cursewalk.
Bowst: Not too many monsters but man, that place is packed with stuff that can curse you. I was not expecting that.
Forgath: You weren't expecting...
Forgath: I mean it's called The Cursewalk. That didn't tip you off?
Bowst: Hey smart guy! Names aren't always accurate! For your information, there was actually fairly little walking!
Bowst: So...
Bowst: Yeah!
Bowst: Now who feels stupid, Mr. Can't Wait To Brag About His Level!
Forgath: So how bad are these curses?
Idle: Lemme put it this way. These rabbit ears? One of the minor things that I gotta deal with.
Forgath: Yikes.
Bowst: After we escaped The Cursewalk, we wandered into this chasm and found these kliking ball things. But thanks to them, me and Idle have been trapped here for over a week now.
Forgath: So what's with the puffy, padded mittens?
Idle: Oh, I made 'em for him. Y'see, one of Bowst's curses activates everytime he says "what", and...
Bowst: Hey don't tell this guy my private business. He doesn't need to know. And I don't care about his damn level. i'm still stronger, faster and smarter, so I'm in charge!
Forgath: C'mon, say "what". I want to see what happens.
Bowst: No!
Forgath: Okay, but I just think that maybeyou might want to saywhat's on your mind, because peoplelike to express themselves and I think that's important.Also, you're kind of an ass.
Bowst: Huh? I can't hear you. You're mumbling, you idiot. Hey! What are you saying?
Forgath: So, what do you mean, you're "trapped" here?
Idle: Well Bowst ended up with a cursed sword from the cursewalk. It was one of those talking swords. A really rude one. Part of the curse dictated that if Bowst were separated too far away
from the sword, he'd start taking damage.
Ward the sword (flashback): You suck.
Idle: When we got here, one of those metallic Kliks ate the sword and accidentally adopted all of its magical qualities, so now Bowst can't go too far away from that Klik.
Ward: And I'm not about to abandon my species just so Mr. Moron can go off and do...
Ward: well, whatever morons made of meat, do.
Forgath: Hey! You were the one talking to me earlier!
Ward: Wow, you pieced that together all by yourself, Dwarf? Yu figured out that the only Klik in existance who can talk, must have been the one talking. You're a genius.
Forgath: Well you're kind of a jerk, aren't you.
Ward: Aw, is the blob of hairy flesh not enjoying the cursed item? That's so weird, since cursed items are known for always being so fun and cuddly. Hey, remember the story of
that cursed rig that gave Bilbo and Frodo free ice cream and back rubs?
Idle: Forgath, meet Ward.
Forgath: Ward the sword? Seriously?
Ward: Listen, if you're going to keep talking, is there any way you can do it without that wet hunk of flesh in your mouth squirming about like that?
Forgath: You mean my tongue?
Ward: Yeah. It's going to make me puke. And Kliks can't puke, so that shows how gross you are.
Forgath: Wow. Ward is the worst cursed item, ever.
Bowst: Alright, listen up. As leader of this group,
Bowst: I've decided that the number four will now be called the number two.
Forgath: What? Why?
Bowst: Don't worry why. Just do as I say.
Bowst: Now tell me your level.
Forgath: I'm level fo...
Twogath: Oh, I see what you're doing.
Bowst: Ha! That's right! You're now level two and I'm level three! Therefore, I'm superior!
Twogath: You mean theretwo you're superior.
Bowst: Huh? No. You don't get it, stupid. I switched the numbers, so henceforth...
Twogath: Hencetwoth...
Bowst: Stop it! You're ruining it!
Twogath: Oh, I've dealt with a guy like you betwo. So I can do this twoever.
Bowst: Aaah! Just forget it!
Twogath: Sure Bowst, if that's what you want. I can twoget it. Consider it twogotten.
Bowst: Shut-up Forgath!
Idle: "Shut-up Twogath".
Bowst: Aaahh!
Forgath: Aw, ya ninja'd me.
Idle: hee
Idle: I like you.
Complains of Names: You find anything over there?
Big Ears: No, nothing. You?
Complains of Names: Ears, if I found a secret door, do you really think I'd be asking if you found one?
Big Ears: Well...
Big Ears: Maybe.
-
Big Ears: Okay no.
Minmax: You guys are stupid. That's not how you look for secret doors.
Thaco: And how would you know?
Minmax: Cause finding secret doors is an adventurer thing, not a monster thing.
Thaco: Okay then, adventurer, show us.
Minmax: Fine, I will. Only because I don't want to die in this room.
-
Minmax: I'm a little teapot. Short and fat.
Minmax: Here is my handle, here is my spout.
Minmax: When I get all steamed up, hear me whine. Tip me over and pour me everywhere.
-
Complains of Names: What the f...
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Found one!
Complains of Names ?: So what's behind this secret door?
Thaco, Fumbles (Senro Vorpal Kickass'o)? : Um, a hallway. With... Bones. Creepy, creepy bones.
Complains of Names: Has anyone else noticed how this glowing thing changes colour every time one of us talks?
Thaco: I think it's reflecting the Individual Magic Effect of the last one to talk. See? Because I spoke, it's glowing orange.
Minmax: Well what does it mean?
Thaco: Who knows. It could affect the one whose I.M.E. it's showing.
Complains of Names: Maybe it gives a bones. Like that creature gets double XP for this dungeon crawl or something.
Minmax: That's a good point, Names. You might be right.
Complains of Names: That is true, Minmax. Well said. I might be right.
Minmax: Yes, it is well said. I agree with you about that as well, Names.
Complains of Names: I think it is good that you agree.
Minmax: Look, I can totally tell that you're trying to get the last word, so you get the bonus!
Complains of Names: Well so are you!
Thaco: Have you two considered that it might not be a bonus? Maybe it's a trap. Maybe it marks who gets pummelled with poison darts in another room or something.
Minmax: Oh crap. I didn't think of that.
Minmax: Well? Well did you think of that, Names? Well did you?! Come on! Talk! I don't want poison darts in me, so say something!
Minmax: What about you, the weird lookin' yellow one? Anyone? No, no, don't leave the room yet! Come on, insult me, Names! I know you want to! Hey! Dammit!
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Stop it! You're on my side of the hallway!
Minmax: No, you're on my side of the hallway!
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Look how much room you have! You have way more than me!
Minmax: That's cause I'm bigger! I need more room than you, you dumb Goblin!
Forehead Fumbles: Monster
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Well walk behind me!
Minmax: No you walk behind me!
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): No you walk behind me!
Minmax: No you walk behind me!
Minmax and Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): No you walk behind me!
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o) and Minmax: No you walk behind me!
Forehead Fumbles: Monster
Minmax: Look, if we're attacked, we can flank our opponent for the combat bonus. But I need enough room to fight!
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Well, so do I!
Forehead Fumbles: Monster
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): I even got the catchphrase worked out. When we're flanking someone, we can say...
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): "It's time for Maxo Kickaxo!"
Forehead Fumbles: Monster
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): You know, cause of our names. Minmax and Senor Vorpal Kickass'o.
Forehead Fumbles: Monster
Minmax: Maxo Kickaxo?
Minmax: That's...
Minmax: ...the geniusest thing I've ever heard!
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): I know right?!
Minmax: We can be all "You just got Maxo Kickaxoed!"
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): "Is it me, or is it getting a little Maxo Kickaxo in here?"
Minmax: Oh, that's good!
Complains of Names: Oh no.
Thaco: What.
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): I hope you're not counting your calories, cause you're about to eat a Maxo Kickaxo sandwich!"
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): "And 'awesome' is very fattening!"
Minmax: Yeah!
Complains of Names: Now we have two of them.
Thaco: What did I just say?! I said let's not end up like them! And what did we do!?
Complains of Names: We ended up like them.
Thaco: We ended up like them!
Minmax: The harder we struggle, the tighter these ropes get!
Complains of Names: Yeah, I can see why all these adventurers died here.
Minmax: Don't worry, I gotta plan. Something all these idiots never thought of.
Thaco: Really?
Complains of Names: What.
Minmax: Struggle really hard!
Minmax: Nnnaaahh!
Thaco: We're going to die.
Complains of Names: Yup.
Minmax: Okay, that was a dumb idea.
Big Ears: Yeah, you're just making it worse.
Minmax: Right, right. Okay, I've got it. I have another plan. A smarter plan.
Complains of Names: What.
Minmax: Struggle really, really hard!
Thaco: Is he really this stupid?
Complains of Names: I am so embarassed to have him as my nemesis.
Minmax: Erk! It's getting really tight, you guys. It's starting to hurt.
Complains of Names: Yeah, that's because you keep struggling, you moron!
Minmax: Hey, don't call me a moron! At least I'm trying something instead of just dangling!
Complains of Names: Well struggling, no matter how hard, isn't going to work!
Minmax: Well obviously I know that now!
Minmax: Wait! Kickaxo, what's the opposite of struggling?
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Well... not struggling?
Minmax: Exactly!
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
Minmax: So if struggling makes the ropes tighter and struggling harder makes the ropes really tighter, and the opposite of struggling is not struggling,t hen logically...
Thaco: Watching him thing is like watching ice melt.
Minmax: ...then logically, um...
Minmax: ...we have to struggle really, really, really hard!
Minmax: Rraaauuw!
Complains of Names: This is not how I expected to die.
Complains of Names: Thaco! The hell are you doing?!
Thaco: I think these pieces of cloth are magical. I think looking through them shows attacks before they happen.
Complains of Names: What? Are you sure?
Complains of Names: We have to get down there and help him! Can't you cut through the ropes with your axe, Ears?
Big Ears: No Complains, my arms are tied up. Can't you cut your ropes with your +1 sword?
Complains of Names: I can't reach them! Look, your axe is bigger! Just try!
Big Ears: Well maybe if I twist my wrist back as far as I can...
Big Ears: Crap!
Big Ears: Heads up!
SFX: Shchinng
Big Ears: Oh Gods! I am so sorry Thaco! Are you okay?!
Thaco: Watch what you're doing, ya big, dumb paladin! You almost cut me in half!
Big Ears: Hey, I have an idea. Maybe if I turn off my armour, I can slip out...
Complains of Names: Are you going to figure out a way to get us down, or what?
Minmax: Yeah!
Thaco: This cloth is amazin. Over all, it worsens my vision, but it offers a great combat bonus.
Big Ears: You know... These ropes run along the ceiling and down that wall. Maybe...
Thaco: I'm blind!
Big Ears: What?
Thaco: Wait. I can see again. Hmmm.
Big Ears: What are you doing?
Thaco: I want to test a theory. I just need one of these weapons from the dead adventurers.
Thaco: Yup. That's what I thought.
Big Ears: Huh?
Thaco: apparently, the cloth loses its magic and becomes a regular blindfold while I'm holding a weapon.
Big Ears: So these cloths are kinda useless if you're not a monk.
Thaco: Pretty much.
Big Ears: Well it's time for me to test my theory. If I follow the rope...
SFX: Shching
Complains of Names: Whaa!
SFX: Thump
Complains of Names: Ow! What the hell, Ears!
Big Ears: Oh sorry, I probably should have warned you first.
Complains of Names: You think?!
Complains of Names: Can I borrow your axe for a moment?
Big Ears: Okay?
Big Ears: You know that doesn't hurt me, right?
Complains of Names: Yeah, but it's very therapeutic.
Minmax: It's pronounced "Sara puked it", dumb ass.
Caption: Later...
Minmax: Ouch. You killed my head, Big... Big uh.. Big Yellow.
Big Ears: Sorry about that.
Minmax: Oh, don't "sorry" me. You enjoyed hurting me, monster.
Big Ears: What? I'm a Paladin. Paladins don't enjoy hurting anyone.
Minmax: Whatever, liar.
Big Ears: Hey! Paladins don't lie! Ever! Y'know what happens when a Paladin lies? They lose all of their paladin levels!
Minmax: Okay, okay. Geez.
Big Ears: Hmf.
Thaco: You were lying, weren't you.
Big Ears: I was totally lying.
Thaco: And you did enjoy hurting him.
Big Ears: So much.
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Hey guys. Check out this staff I found. It's a good site for a Goblin and if I fumble, there's nothing sharp on it, so...
Forehead Fumbles: Monster
Big Ears: So how does this staff work? What exactly does it do?
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): I don't even know. The tip just touched the ropes and we were free. Maybe it kills anything that touches the tip of it.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
Minmax: Dude.
Minmax: I'm totally in love with your mom.
Complains of Names: Minmax, you want to see me 'Barbarian Rage' with this short sword shoved up your...
Thaco: Complains, look.
Complains of Names: The image changed. Hey, I know her. That's uh...
Big Ears: That's that serpent folk! Kin!
Complains of Names: Yeah, Kin! The one from Brassmoon!
Minmax: You know her?!
Complains of Names: Wait, you were in love with her?!
Minmax: That's none of your damn business.
Thaco: This pillar must be showing images of creatures that those around it have loved.
Complains of Names: You never talked about my mother. you were in love with her?
Thaco: That's none of your damn business.
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Why aren't there any pictures for Complains or Ears? Or me?
Big Ears: I guess we've never been in love.
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Oh.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): I love you Complains! Soooo much!
Complains of Names: Get offa me, you moron! It doesn't work like that!
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
Complains of Names: Does it?
Big Ears, or Thaco: No, it's still an image of the serpent folk.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
Complains of Names: It doesn't work like that!
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
Caption: Later...
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Okay, listen up! Me and Maxo have figured out a bunch of these pillars. That one over there shows you your favourite place that you've been. That one shows your favourite food and this one here, just shows who you're in love with. Same as the other one.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
Thaco: Then why isn't it showing an image of 'Protects Books'?
Minmax: "Protects Books"?
Complains of Names: That's my mother's name. She... Whoa.
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Who's that?
Complains of Names: I don't know, but... she's gorgeous!
Thaco: Hang on, I think I get this now. This pillar isn't showing who you're in love with. I think it's showing what you lust after, phyiscally.
Thaco: That would explain why nothing shows up for me. I don't lust after anyone, anymore. Too old for that stuff.
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): You like females with hair on their head? That's weird.
Complains of Names: It's not weird!
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Sure it is.
Minmax: Yeah, it's pretty weird, Names.
Complains of Names: But... you like hair!
Minmax: Yeah, but I'm Human. It's a totally different...
-
-
-
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Seriously, hair?
Complains of Names: Shut up.
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Are you turned on by my mustache?
Complains of Names: Shut up!
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Would you like to be alone with my mustache?
Complains of Names: Shut up!
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): ...s..r
Forgath: So they just klik like this all through the night? How do you get any sleep?
Idle: You either get used to it or go mad.
SFX: Klik
SFX: Klik
SFX: Klik
SFX: Klik
SFX: Klik
SFX: Klik
Bowst: Idle, it's getting late. We'd better do your daily curse.
Idle: Sigh. 'kay.
SFX: Klik
Bowst: We'll just get it over with. Quick. Same as always.
SFX: ..ik
SFX: KLIK
Idle: I know, I know.
Forgath: What's going on?
Bowst: Relax, Mr. level four, it's just Idle's daily curse. Me and her each have one.
SFX: Klik
SFX: Klik
Bowst: If Idle doesn't die once a day, she'll... well she'll die. Like really die.
SFX: .lik
SFX: Bzzzz...
SFX: ...orp
SFX: Klik
Idle: Owie!
SFX: Klik
Forgath: So you have to experience death every day?! What happens if you die twice in the same day?
Idle: Well, then I'm really dead. That's why we save my daily curse 'til the end of the day. That way, if I accidentally die, I'll pop right back.
Idle: Good morning, Forgath. How did you sleep? Did the kliking drive you insane?
Forgath: Actually, it wasn't so bad. It's good to be sleeping on stone, this close to home.
Idle: Stone is stone, dummy.
Forgath: Not to Dwarves. You ever stick your hand in a river? You can feel which way the water's moving, how cold it is, is it clean or muddy. Well it's kind of like that when a Dwarf touches stone. This stone has a lot of quartz, no iron, and it's sedimentary, so it's softer.
Idle: Wow.
Idle: That is...
Idle: ...so boring.
Forgath: Where's Bowst?
Idle: He and Ward went to find breakfast. I'm just tattooing myself. This is Elven skin paint. Once it marks you, it's never coming off.
Forgath: But you had tattoos yesterday and they're gone.
Idle: Yeah, when I come back to life, I come backfull healed. I guess the curse sees stained skin as a kind of wound and gets rid of it. So I draw new ones every morning.
Idle: Also, I drew a naked Orc on your forehead while you were asleep.
Forgath: What?!
Idle: Haaahaha!
Forgath: C'mere, Salt. I need to see my reflection.
Forgath: Oh, you're lucky I don't force feed you those rabbit ears.
Idle: Seriously though, I could draw a Dwarven war hammer or something, on your arm. I'm pretty good.
Forgath: No thanks. I look weird enough already, with all of these Klik patches in me.
Idle: Well then you draw something on me. It's okay if you mess it up, because it'll be gone tomorrow, anyways.
Forgath: It's hard to hold the brush with this stone gauntlet on.
Idle: So use the other hand.
Forgath: I'm not left handed.
Idle: So take off the gauntlet, dummy.
Forgath: I can't.
Forgath (flashback): One of the would I had, was though the gauntlet and into my hand. When the Kliks patched me up, they fused the gauntlet to my hand.
SFX: Shch...
Idle: Whoa. That sucks.
Forgath: Well... this stuff is temporary, right? I figured it's like a bandage and will eventually go away.
Idle: Nope, it's permanent. Ward told me all about this once. Instead of attaching part of themselves onto you to copy part of your soul so it can seperate and be its own creature, they halt the process, so that never happens. They can do this to fix wounds or even replace limbs.
Forgath: So this "healing" of theirs is always permanent?!
Idle: Yeah. Well no, not always. Ward says that if a Klik who's too young, tries this kind of healing, it can go wrong and you end up with a warped, evil version of these guys.
Forgath: Is that what's going to happen to me?!
Idle: Relax, captain Brave. All the Kliks who healed you were old enough to know what they were doing.
Idle: But apparently the warped Kliks are really nasty. They have a positive and a negative, just like the regular ones, but their positive doesn't just heal them, it makes them more powerful. If left unchecked, they can eventually reach like.... demigod kinda power. Scary, eh?
Forgath: Can we talk about something else? This is freaking me out.
Idle: Sure.
Forgath: So what's the deal with you and Bowst? Are you like... a couple?
Idle: But I do have sex with him every day.
Forgath: What?
Idle: It's his daily curse. See mine, is that I have to die once a day or I'll, well... die. His, is that he has to have sex once a day or he'll die. It can be with anyone, but I'm the only gal that's been around.
Forgath: That sounds more like a curse for you, than for him.
Idle: Hah ha!
Idle: Well, if I'm being totally honest, I do kinda like it. A lot. But we both understand that we're not in a relationship and this is purely to keep him alive.
Forgath: Done. What do you think, Idle?
Idle: Um... What is it?
Forgath: It's a dragon! Wait. Actually, I think it's a unicorn. Maybe it's a house?
Idle: You drew it. You don't know what it is?
Forgath: Well I just started painting and waited to see what it became. Dwarves aren't really known for their painting skills.
Forgath: Actually, what are you?
Idle: What?
Forgath: I mean... you look kind of Elven, but your ears aren't right for an Elf. And of course... you have rabbit features.
Idle: Oh yeah.. Well I'm an Elf. At least, I was an Elf before I entered The Cursewalk.
Idle: Me and Bowst found this big wheel with tiles on it. Each tile had a differents species on it. We found out that if you spin the wheel, you get a random species sorta... mixed into you, physically.
Wheel of Species: GOBLIN - VAMPIRE - HUMAN - HILL GIANT - ANGEL - CAT - DWARF - TROLL - RABBIT - TITAN - SPIDER - DOG - MOUSE - ORC - DEMON - FAIRY - DRAGON - KOBOLD - ELF - GNOME
Forgath: And you spun it and got 'Rabbit'.
Idle: No, I spun it and got 'Goblin'. That's why my upper ears look off for an Elf. They're Goblin ears. So I spun it again.
Wheel of Species: Gnome - Goblin - Vampire - .uman
Forgath: Why would you spin it again? Actually, why would you spin it once?
Idle: Hey, there were some cool things on that wheel. Like 'Angel'. I propoably would had neato wings and powers.
Forgath: And that's when you got 'Rabbit'.
Idle: That's when I got 'Rabbit'. These changes count as curses, so a couple Remove Curse spells should fix me up.
Wheel of Species: Troll - Rabbit - Titan - .pider
Ward: Hey you! Fleshy thing with hair on its face!
Ward: Is this yours?
Forgath: Hey! You found my Axe of Racism!
Idle: You commit acts of racism? You're a racist?
Forgath: No, not "Acts", "Axe". It's an Axe of...
Forgath: Sigh. I've already been through this before. It's not funny anymore.
Ward: It probably wasn't funny the first time.
Forgath: Aw, did one of you guys take a bite out of the axe?
Forgath: Salt! Did you do this?
Ward, the sword: No, it wasn't her, dumb ass.
Ward: The Klik that ate part of your stupid axe, warped into an evil horror and ran off! Nice one, moron! Your stupidity has possibly ended the world.
Bowst: "Her"? I thought Kliks were genderless.
Forgath: What?! Why would eating the axe warp...
Ward: Because. You bag of floppy organs! My species is basically made of shapeshifting magic! If we eat other shapeshifting magic, it can warp us!
Idle: They are genderless.
Forgath: The Axe of Racism isn't shapeshifting Magic, Ward.
Ward: Yes it is! Anything that transforms itself or others, is shapeshifting magic!
Bowst: Then why "her"? Why not "him"?
Idle: Why not "her"?
Forgath: It doesn't do any of that! It's not shapeshifting magic!
Ward: Yes, it is!
Forgath: No, it isn't! I think I know my own magic item!
SFX: Shick Shick
-
Forgath: How'd you do that?
Ward: Now you have to hunt him down before he can eat enough of his positive to become something terrifying and kill everyone! And since you're too stupid to get anything done, these two piles of wet idiocy have to go with you! And since I can't seperate from this jerk, I have to come too! And leaving this place is exactly what I don't want to do!
Bowst: Wait. Ward, are you saying that we get to leave this place? I finally get to leave?!
Ward_ Yes. Shut up. I hate you.
Bowst: Forgath, you did it buddy! I love you! I freakin' love you, you beautiful Dwarf!
Forgath: Mmfm!
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): You want some Yumyuck moss?
Minmax: No way. That stuff is nasty. It starts out tasting good, but then it tastes like bum vomit. I don't know how you guys can eat it.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Mons...
Thaco: There's a technique. You have to swallow it before it changes its taste. You also use the next mouthful to mask the previous one if you start to taste the yuck. It takes some practice.
Big Ears: Hey, there's something under the moss here.
Big Ears: A door with no wall?
Thaco; Could be a portal that leads to another section of the dungeon or even outside of it.
Complains of Names: But this place is huge. It's like a million to one, that we'd find it.
Minmax: Why does everything in this dungeon crawl have body parts on it?
Big Ears: I found another one.
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Me too!
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
SFX: Kromp Kromp
Big Ears: There must be hundreds or even thousands of them.
Complains of Names: I'd guess that all of the buried doors lead into this shaft, but.... then what?
Big Ears: The doors in there have handles. Maybe if we open a door from within the shaft, it'll lead somewhere else.
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Hi Complains!
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Hi Big Ears!
Complains of Names: Can you reach it?
Big Ears: Uhh!
Big Ears: Nope.
Big Ears: Well maybe...
Big Ears: Nope.
Complains of Names: Minmax, you've got long arms. See if you can reach across and open this other door.
Big Ears: I almost...
Big Ears: Nope.
Minmax: Pfft, yeah right. As soon as I lean over that drop, you'll push me to my death. No way.
Complains of Names: Would you relax? I'm not going to push you.
Minmax: Yeah you will!
Complains of Names: Just trust me, okay? No one's going to push you.
Minmax: Oh I'm sorry, is it annoying when someone doesn't trust you? I wouldn't know that that feels like! I've only got you staring at me while I sleep, cause you think I'm gonna murder everyone! Screw you, Names!
Big Ears: I think...
Big Ears: I think I got it...
Big Ears: Whaaa!
Big Ears: The Axe!
Big Ears: Oh no.
Complains of Names: Ears!
Minmax: Sigh. Get outta the way.
Big Ears: Thank you for returning my axe.
Thaco: But why did he give it to Minmax?
Big Ears: Look at the symbol on his head. Isn't that the same symbol from the first room? The one that changed colour everytime someone spoke?
Thaco: Hey yeah. When we left that room, it was matching Minmax's IME because he was the last one to speak. And look at the colour of it now. That's Minmax's IME.
Big Ears: So if the last one to speak in that room had pink, dancing squirrels as an IME, that's what we'd be seeing now.
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Hey Door Golem.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Can I see one of the doors you've got there? Are they ways for us to leave this place?
Door Golem: Door
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Aw, why not?
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Maxo, you ask him. Maybe he only does what you say.
Minmax: Um... Okay.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
Minmax: Hey, uh... Door Golem Guy, or whatever you are. Can I see one of those doors? I guess... the dark grey one there?
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
Thaco, or Big Ears, or Complains of Names: We should get Minmax to have the Golem show us all the doors, before we choose which one to enter.
SFX: Creeee
Minmax: Hah! You thought you were so smart by making me talk last. And now I got my own pet door golem!
Minmax: And unless you want to walk all the way back to that first room, this golem is mine forever, Suckers!
Big Ears: Wait. The door golem changed. Is... Is that Kore's IME?
Minmax: What?!
Thaco: Oh crap.
Complains of Names: This means he's somehow made it into the dungeon crawl!
Complains of Names: This means he's in the first room right now!
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): This means he's talking to himself.
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
Complains of Names: We've got to get outta here. He's not going to stop until we're dead.
Minmax: Srew that. He killed Forgath. i'm going to wait for him to get tangled up in that rope room and then I'm taking his head off.
Complains of Names: And how are you going to stop those ropes from grabbing you, Genius?
Minmax: Oh.
Minmax: Right.
Complains of Names: We need to put as much distance as possible between us and Kore. Let's keep moving.
Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): You're coming with us, right Maxo?
Forehead Fumbles (Senor Vorpal Kickass'o): Monster
Minmax: Yeah. I need to find someplace where I have some kind of advantage. Then he's dead meat.
Green Demon: ^^^^
Big Ears (?): Well?
Red Demon: ^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^
Green Demon: ^^^^^
Big Ears: What are they doing?
Complains of Names: Still just talking. I can't understand them though, it's some kind of weird language.
Complains of Names: Ears, do you think you could Detect Evil from this distance?
Big Ears: I don't know, they're pretty far awa...
SFX: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
Big Ears: Coff
Big Ears: Coff
Big Ears: So evil.
Thaco: Shhh. Quiet, you idiot.
Complains of Names: Normally, I'd suggest we make our Move Silently checks and and sneak to that other door, but with a Human here...
Minmax: Pfft. Typical Goblins. "I don't wanna do the dungeon battle", "I'm too scared to fight for XP", "I'm sad".
