Arrested Development

[mnementh]

Okay... this is a game similar to the Odd Statements Round Robin, only the object is this: You arrest the previous poster for some absurd crime, and if you like, you may also also pronounce equally absurd judgement and deliver an appropriately ridiculous sentence. PLEASE! Let the punishment fit the crime!

I'll start... we'll use THunt as an example. A deliberately VERY Fonzie-type deliberately squeeky-clean example; which you need not feel restricted to adhere to for us mere forum members.

Tarol Hunt, I hereby place you under arrest for BEING INCREDIBLE. You have the right to remain at your drafting table; anything you draw can and will be displayed in the courtyard for all to enjoy. Should you choose to give up these rights, we would all be VERY SAD.

We find you guilty of 77,239 counts of Making our Inner Child Smile, 59,312 counts of You BASTARD!!! Cliffhanging, at least a bazillion D'AWWW!!! Moments, and EXACTLY the Right Amount of Rules Litigation.

We sentence you to 3 consecutive life sentences of Drawing Whatever The Frakk You Feel Like, and remand you to House Arrest In The Woods of Canada with Mandatory Conjugal Visits and BabyMaking Duty.

May Danielle have Mercy on Your Soul!

mnem
I fought the lawn and... I won.

[Quarg]

mnementh you are accused of starting an illegal thread, The following paperwork has not been filed for the thread "Arrested Development":
DKGF-1101 A Decleration of Intent to Start Thread
DKGF-9008 B Application for Thread Permission
DKGF-12198 Application for Application of Starting a Thread
DKGF-17809 Application for Review of Application for Starting a Thread
DKGF-9987 Request for Review of Interm Report on Application for Thread
DKGF-127-987-1121 Application for Submission of Review of Interm Report on Apllication for Thread
DKGF-188-001 Block Zone Memory Application for Thread Memory--Interm
DKGF-188-002 Block Zone Server Access Permission for Thread Memory Allocation
DKGF-188-004 Security Form for Sever Access by Thread Author
DKGF -1000000000001 Initalization of Completed Thread Review
DKGF-0001 Permission by Moderators, Admins, and Pope for Permission to post Thread
DKGF-1002 LIability of Thread demonstrating countersigniture by GOD, Moses, Mohammad, Buddha, and Ubo the Wonder Dog
DKGF-101 Permission to type things in a meaningful way...

[SamWiser]

Quarg, you are accused of creating false rules for the forum. As payment for this heinous crime, you are sentenced to fingerpaint the forum rules on a canvas, and put it up in an art gallery for all to see.

[Theonewhoisodd]

SamWiser you are under arrest for possession of stolen threads. Specifically the Odd Statements thread.

[mnementh]

Odd, I hereby place you under arrest for violating the sanctity of this absurdity with your alternate reality.


mnem
And your little pixels, too!

[Runsaround]

mnementh, I have this place surrounded with the finest knights and slayers available to goblinkind! You are under arrest for having a ridiculous name that makes essentially no sense at all!

[Dusk9]

Runsaround, you are hearby under arrest on suspicion of consistently exceeding the speed limit in residential areas. In addition, we have reports of you doing so around corners, with little to no regard for pedestrian lives. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

[I'mBob]

Dusk9, you are arrested for being a ninja. You may not have a lawyer and you are sentenced to death.

[lingrem]

I'mBob, you are under arrest for Identity Theft. Everyone knows dragons aren't named Bob, and we have it on good authority that Bob is a cat. You are sentenced to spending life behind bars... in a zoo. There is zero chance for parole.

[I'mBob]

Lingrem, you are arrested for forgetting that older dragons can cast spells and change their shape. You are sentenced to get eaten by your "cat".

[Dusk9]

Bob, you are under arrest for identity theft. Again. This time for not only lying about your age, but also pretending to be another forumer on multiple occasions.

[lingrem]

Dusk, you are hereby arrested for your behaviour in the Random Chatter thread earlier today. You are stripped of your mod powers, and never allowed to make a new thread.

someone had to!

[Dusk9]

Lin, I am arresting you for accusing an innocent man of crimes he did not commit. Shame on you!

[Theonewhoisodd]

Dusk you are under arrest for being a ninja, again.

[lingrem]

Dusk and Odd, you are both under arrest for failing to provide sentences.

You are both sentenced to ten years of menial labour, where you pick garbage up off the side of the road. This needs to be done for 5 hours a week.

[Theis2]

Lin, you are arrested for bullying the prisoners by throwing trash out your window as you continue to just drive up and down the road doing it all over again. Your sentence is to carry all the garbage they collect and depose it in the nearest landfill

[I'mBob]

Theis, you are arrested for making us to wait way too long time for your game.

[Quarg]

I'mBob you are arrested and charged with the crime of Lack of Patience. For this crime the mandatory minimum sentance is 1000 Tor's you have to sit out all games in the Games Forum to learn patience.

[Alavar]

Quarg, you are arrested for too much patience.Your punishment will be so swift that you will be unable to use it to save yourself.

[I'mBob]

Alavar, you are arrested because I always confuse you with Alvarin.

[John]

I'mBob you are arrested for letting the dogs out. You have the right to remain gellin. You have the right to a wizard. If you cannot afford a wizard, a witch doctor will be provided to you by the state. You are facing a sentence of having to put a poster of Justin Bieber up across from your toilet. Bail is set at 1 haiku.

So say we all.

[mnementh]

John, I hereby place you under arrest for "Combining References to Baha, Galactica and the Bieb" in the same post.

We find you guilty of 7 counts of Mental Battery, 3 counts of "Can't get rid of that mental picture" and 6 counts of "YuckyPutz".

We hereby sentence you to 14 hours unprotected sex with a Cylon (The shooty, stabby metal kind, not the hot, sexy squishy kind) with video to be sold online to pay for your medical bills and support the offspring.

mnem
You shall be made an example of.

[Quarg]

Mnementh you are under Arrest for Crimes against Humanity and Crimes against Cylonity. That you did forcibly have a Human rape a Cylon and film it for your own viewing pleasure.

And somehow I am suddenly to absolutely fricken angry at the moment....Gah! I quit...

[Theonewhoisodd]

Quarg you are under arrest for not admitting how horribly turned on you were after imagining that. You are facing 36 years of volunteering in a sex shop until you can get your act in order.

Odd
Because I can

[WastesTime]

Odd, I hereby sentence you to 25 to life in prison for passing a sentence on Quarg, which was too harsh (sentence, not Quarg). You can of course apply to court for a parole on account that you behave well in the prison, in which case the court will assign an officer to you to assure that you never sentence anyone else to work in a room full of dildos for 8 hours a day and a crappy wage.