Corrupted Wish Game

[SamWiser]

You do, but you gain 500 pounds because of it.

I wish I had a real pokemon that I could control.

[Patdragon]

You get a dead magikarp.

I wish the movie industry would hurry up and make a good Deadpool film I can watch.

[raaabr]

They make it and it gets great ratings for FX and Plot; it's just the production values were so expensive Hollywood had to shut down for good.

I wish for a book with the name of every species on Earth.

[LAYF]

Granted, as you open the book and start reading you notes "Hard spine, soft spine, hard cover, soft cover, black and white, multi color, full color, paper............"

I wish for the ability to animate and de-animate any object to my liking!

[raaabr]

Granted. You're powers would destroy the universe since you are animating objects with energy that doesn't exist. The Universe collectively decides to smite you as a result.

I wish that this thread will stay active for another 5 years.

[Liesmith]

Everyone loses interest in the thread except for you. You're obsessed with it, constantly posting, then answering your own posts. If anyone were to read the thread in the future, they'd the final line of your final post, on January 8th, 2019: "I wish I didn't feel so alone anymore." Then, nothing.

I wish I was healthy.

[Patdragon]

You become perfectly healthy, then get killed by the rabid rhino that just escaped from the zoo.

I wish the rhino was back in the zoo.

[Davecom3]

Granted, but it's running among the crowd of visitors, rather than in its cage, and it's injured most of the peoplee who have tried to put it down.

I wish for an unstoppable force to hit an immovable object.

[Liesmith]

Granted. The immovable object remains perfectly stationary, but the unstoppable force is redirected upon the path of least resistance, without stopping or slowing. This happens to be towards you, as the nearest bystander. Your organs are incredibly movable by comparison, and do not provide much resistance.

I wish I could reach into my pockets whenever I want and pull out however much untraceable cash I want without any negative consequences, and the negligible matter/energy for its creation would come from the center of a distant galaxy which humanity would never interact with.

[Nerre]

You can do that, but your wife did sort out the pants that could do that cause they looked old, and gave them to charity without asking you.

I wish people stoped using animated avatars, it distracts from reading text. Lazy brain. Too many work hours.

[raaabr]

Granted. All computers in the world have their screens permanently frozen.


I wish for a razor that can't cut skin but can be used to shave.

[Patdragon]

The new Motorola razor mobile contract sim deal just released has been known to shave costs off any and all phone calls.

I wish I would procrastinate less

[SGTdude]

Today only: wish granted. You do not procrastinate anymore and are very successful! Enjoy!

I wish I wasn't sick.

[trubbol]

You have died to your sickness, technically you are no longer sick.

I wish that in the future, we would be able to upload our conciousnesses into the internet, and create new worlds like a superadvanced minecraft! The system for this is self preserving and running so it could go on unto infinity, and that I was the first uploaded.

[raaabr]

You're the first uploaded; since as the first, you're a test experiment, the upload fails, leaving you in a coma.

I wish for the secret to achieving light speed in a vacuum.

[Patdragon]

You take some high school physics and learn a photon can travel at light speed in a vaccum, so you try to turn yourself into photons which oddly works but you didn't work out how to turn back and now you just keep traveling into space.

I wish my students were better behaved.

[friedkitty]

A spitball flies across the room. Talking and side conversations are everywhere. You clear your throat, but it does no good. A young lady on the third row pulls out her cell phone and begins texting, totally oblivious to the lesson you have spent hours preparing.You feel your eye twitch. Again. Suddenly, a pencil flies up in the air and sticks in the ceiling. You snap. A desk tips over as you hurl it upward, the former occupant now sitting on the floor dazedly looking up at you in surprise. You know you shouldn't, but you can not help it. You are possessed with rage as you begin hurling books, markers, paper, whatever you can get your hands on as you scream at the little heathens in rage and fury. The posters on the wall come down in tatters. Light tubes are shattered overhead as computer parts go flying. You vaguely recall a voice telling you to calm down, but it all becomes a blur.

You wake up in a padded cell. The tech on duty tells you that the new teacher says the students are all perfectly behaved, as they never want to risk driving someone else completely insane.

I wish these papers would grade themselves.

[trubbol]

The papers grade themselves, however, they are easily influenced by the students who created them to change their grades. The grades that the papers put down are extremely unreliable.... and the world blows up somehow because of it, not sure how, or when, but it like, definitely happens!

I wish for a dragons hoard of treasure! Tons and tons of the glittery gold coins and gems! And I want it with whipped cream on it baby!

[Patdragon]

The hoard of treasure arrives covered in whipped cream, and when trying to imitate Scrooge Mc Duck by diving into it you are surprised it works and have been blessed with the money swimming ability. However the whipped cream is overly delicious and be smelt for miles, causing the dragons who's hoard it was in the first place to come find you and eat a extremely appetizing you.

I wish that Forgath will not die in the next few comic updates.

[Lee]

Forgath doesn't die in the next few updates. He is just shown to be in negative hit points when Thunt decides to switch back to Dies Horribly. Now you have to wait months to find out if he lives or not.

I wish I could find whatever I needed/wanted within moments of starting to look for it.

[Zathyr]

Google releases the new Life engine, allowing you to search for literally anything and find it in nearly no time flat. That book you were reading earlier, your keys, that piece of mail that was never actually delivered - you can know the locations of all of it with new Google Life! Google's real-time detailed maps of the planet, including the interior of every structure, make finding the best route to whatever you're looking for a snap. And they don't even charge for the service. A few little targeted ads to occasionally pop up around your house, but it's not a big deal. The immense amount of personal data Google apparently has on everyone is a little disturbing, but they don't seem to be doing much with it, as far as anyone can tell..

I wish for the moon. The moon!

[trubbol]

The moon comes from out of orbit, crushing you and destroying a quarter of the planet, maybe even knocking earth out of orbit. The Moon!

I wish I had a giant hoard of glittery treasure in way that does not involve or result in me dying horribly!

[raaabr]

Granted. It's a giant pool of molten gold that doesn't produce heat, but can never become solid. A waste of space.


I wish for a fairy in a bottle!

[SamWiser]

You get it. You also forget to poke holes in the lid, so it suffocates and dies.

I wish I had a more normal sleeping pattern.

[Davecom3]

Granted, you will now sleep forever, being asleep now being your normal state.

I wish to not owe any money at any time.