The Surprise jalape├▒o -- Turn 3

[WearsHats]

"Look, I've got nothing to do with any of this. I spent most of my life down in the mines. I don't know who you people are or what's going on, but just leave me and my friends out of it, okay? We're having a bad enough day already."

Puns sees the goblin closing in on Curi, and moves to intercept. He doesn't want to get involved, but he will try to grab the guy's arm if it looks like he's attacking.

[GathersIngredients]

I'm sorry, but this is a bit confusing.

Initially there's 6 goblin working men (whatever that means exactly) altogether, 3 with crossbows, one with an axe (and a gold earring, possibly General Zerg - toy story 2 much? - who wanted us to put the weapons down, but also arrest us, and now is screaming for the armed guys to kill us, lovely), 2 with daggers. Also there's a (wealthy) kobold screaming to kill us (the "spies")
the crossbow guys shoot (2 miss, one hit the bartender), because face puncher rolls over the bar and are most likely reloading now.
Apparently one of the dagger guys is closing in on Curi now.
So far so good.
But then 2 humans (who apparently pointed to our table before) run towards some orcs (how many altogether we don't know, there where "some" sailors mentioned) and with some ninja tricks kill two (orcs, I presume?) for no reason whatsoever (at least that we know of)

Where is everyone in relation to everyone else? How many opponents (and innocent bystanders - from the first post, the bar was supposed to be empty except for the described groups: the kobold, the goblin working men, the sailors, the humans, the bartender and us) are there?
Why the hell are we being framed like this?
Is the kobold armed and does he look like he'll attack, or is he content just screaming?

I'd like to try and have Keeps do something sensible. I can't possibly decide on a course of action without better information on the situation.

[WearsHats]

I did find the latest update confusing, too. A lot going on, and it's a little hard to make out who's doing what to whom sometimes. Who's part of which group, etc.

My assumption was that we've stumbled into a larger situation (possibly more than one different plot thread) that we're not supposed to know anything about. Kind of like walking into a movie halfway through, except that now we're characters in it.

To make things more confusing, we're now in the middle of a bar fight, which is chaotic. Even more so because we're all doing different things with different factions.

It seems we're caught between a conspiracy of criminals and the cops who came in to arrest them. For some reason, the criminal boss had a large, obvious bag of money which he was using as bait. I'm not sure what his plan was. To have it stolen and then... I don't know? Claim we were the ones responsible for whatever it is they did? Claim we stole it and try to divert the cops? Have his gang kill us? We can only guess.

Which leaves us with three options. No, wait. Four:

1. Side with the cops. If we help them take down the gang, they'll be more likely to be nice to us.

2. Side with the gang. Same deal, only reversed.

3. Try to stay out of it. If we quietly step back, the cops and the gang will focus on each other, and we might be able to escape. Or just deal with whoever is left standing when the dust settles.

4. Fight both sides at once. Chaos ensues.

Oh, right. Forgot about the humans and orcs. No idea what the deal is there. But they're not bothering with us,and right now, the cops and the gang are.

We don't really know what's going on. Are the cops here to arrest a group of dangerous criminals? Or is this the corrupt thugs of an evil dictator closing in on the heroic rebels? Or something else entirely?

Personally, my preference would be option 3. Failing that, option 1. Unfortunately, one of us has run head on into option 2. Not that we have to stick together.

Of course, we're unarmed first level characters in a bar full of mercenaries, soldiers, and possibly assassins. Fighting our way out isn't going to be easy.

Hopefully, the GM can clarify things further, but that's my take, for whatever it's worth.

[GathersIngredients]

Kind of like walking into a movie halfway through, except that now we're characters in it.

...more like biting into a burger of some kind an finding a surprise jalape├▒o. Let's just hope we can skip the nose bleed.

Your assumption of the situation differs from mine. Because I fail to notice which group, exactly, would be the "bad guys" we could side with.
So far I only see a kobold with a bag of money of unknown allegiance and intentions who is screaming that we are spies, the supposed soldiers (or at least 5 guys obeying a goblin claiming to be a general, in your version "the cops"), us (probably the "bad guys", as far as anyone else is concerned), two humans we know nothing about except that they are tricky and like to kill and a group of orcs (allegedly sailors, two of them dead by now).
(And the bartender, who got shot into the soldier and sunk behind the bar.)
Do you think the humans and/or the orcs are the bad guys?


Also, imho the two humans and the orcs matter/concern us a whole lot. Just because the humans decided to kill orcs last turn, doesn't mean they are not going to decide and kill goblins (potentially us!) next turn.
Always mind your surroundings.

[gamecreator]

Actually I would like to know who is the current ruler of the country were are in? Is it a king or a parliament, or someone else? Is it Quarg? This would be common knowledge. Because if these are not some rogue soldiers (general's people), then by attacking them we would be confirmed as traitors.
So if the army is legitimate, I think our best option is to run away. Otherwise we can try and act on the situation.

[Nerre]

A young goblin woman walks out of the door as the noise of the battle starts. She is not bad looking (for a goblin) and her skin has a dark orange color. She has a large kitchen knive in her one hand and an open glass of chilis in some liquid in her other and wears a slightly dirty apron.
"What is going..." she starts to ask, then her eyes spot the injured bartender, who is hiding behind the desk and moaning painfully. "GRAMPA?" her voice seems very angry and ice cold at the same time, her face turns darker, almost fully red now. The others later could swear that steam came out of her ears and nose. A loud shout catches the attention of most in the bar:
STOP FIGHTING IN OUR BAR BEFORE I LOSE MY TEMPER!
she shouts at the top of her lungs, swiping the content of the chili glass at the three men with crossbows, as it was obviously one of them who shot her Grandpa. Two of them let their weapons fall to the ground, grasping their faces in pain, as the spiciness of the chili oil starts to unfold, being in their eyes and in every breath they take. That move was honored the name of the bar, the "Surprise Jalapeno" for good. The third one, however, just kneed down to reload his crossbow and wasn't hit by the spicy spray of chili and chili oil, but trampled over as one of the other two walks backwards and trips over him.
"General, please! I know you come here often enough, you should know better than to start a battle in our bar, especially on such a false accusation! There are clearly three parties in here, although it seems more on the first glance. One lurking around here all evening, looking like they waited to do something dubious if not illegal, one lost in self-pitty, drinking away their frustration about having lost their jobs, and finally your group. You might have not caught it yet, but the first group consists of three groups on the first glance. But on the second glance, they were exchaning gazes often enough. And now they started this, by trying to blame the second group, some dispensable workers, to start confusion. Why don't you ask the rich and fancy guy, who didn't even bother to tip properly?
Stop this madness now and get the right guys or take it to the street! You already got our tavern dirty and broken enough and even hit my Grampa for no reason!"
The goblin girl rants and raves behind the bar, the knife in her hand shaking angrily in time with her agitated shouts and gestures.
Then she jerks around towards Facepuncher "And you! If you make even one notch in that sword, I will cook you alive!"
After a split second she shouts again:
"DAD!"
A larger goblin, almost towering a head larger than her, walks out from the swinging kitchen door, holding a floury rolling pin in one hand and looking quit grim.

[askstoomuch]

wears is very close, not going to explain the details but I can give some clear up

the kobold soldiers and orcs are all on the same "team"
the humans of course are not
they aren't attacking the humans yet as they just attacked the orcs and had verry little time to react yet, they will attack both sides next turn

[Synch]

► Show Spoiler

From my perspective, the general and the soldiers have shot at me and are trying to kill us. They are not the 'good guys', and now is not the time for peace. I'm fighting my way out of here. Anyone who doesn't attack me lives.

[askstoomuch]

the soldiers have shot at punches, the general is currently targeting him
the attention of the other five is pointed towards the humans and the rest of the goblin group

[lingrem]

I'm sorry, but I am ABSOLUTELY confused. To the point than when I was reading this page, I thought I went into the wrong thread - it looks like Nerre is doing GMing? I'm sorry Nerre, but I didn't even know you were in the game as you weren't previously. And you are able to write with more than one character? Can we all do that? If so, then it would make this more of a group-story instead of a game (which I wouldn't mind, but I'd rather know that ahead of time).

[Nerre]

► Show Spoiler

OOC: Only Malagueta is my char, the others are in there for flavour. It is fully up to Asks what happens to them and what they do from now on. Sorry, did not want to confuse you. I joined in lately and Asks let me write my own introduction.

[GathersIngredients]

► Show Spoiler

I am sincerely sorry, but I have to quit this game for personal reasons. I already PMed Asks about this to inform him, but I thought it would be good form to tell you, my co-players of this, too, myself and not have asks relay it to you.
I wish you all tons of fun playing this game and asks best of luck and also fun GMing it.

[askstoomuch]

this is extremly confusing and i aswell have no idea what is going on

let me figure this out ok