Butler, cut me some milk! (Open to all!)

[GathersIngredients]

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you do know a dull tip will work, too, it would just hurt more?
And now I made myself sad. May he rest in peace.

Very well, Sir. *rams in dull needles with more force, effort (and pain for raaabr) than strictly necessary. Would you also like me to subscribe you to S&M anonymous?


Butler, I made myself sad. Cheer me up!

[Krulle]

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Had this tab open for more than three hours before I had a work break allowing me to reply. Ninja'ed by GI. Her reply is better than mine anyway.

Such systems are already known, Sir.
Please smear yourself with this medical cream, then go out the door to let the hurricane winds push the active ingredients of the cream into your naked skin.
Please be aware that due to the rain, you will have to repeat this procedure sufficiently often, as otherwise the rain will have washed off too much of the immunisation ingredients.
Also do expect a tremendous rash. The cream is rather aggressive, as it needs to open your skin pores as far as chemically possible for a transfer of as much active immunisation agents as possible.

I will also call the doctor to treat your pneumonia tomorrow.

Yes, Ma'am. Here, have a nice cup of herbal tea. *trips over the head of tiger-skin, throwing the tea all over Miss Sophie*
Eh, I see you're in pain right now. And angry at me. Mission accomplished.



Butler, make this game stop!

[raaabr]

Yes sir. I have brought out the local gamestop and have rebranded your mansion as one.



Butler, teach me how to roll dice perfectly!

[Arch Lich Burns]

Okay the first thing you do is dice some onions. Then put them in a cup. Then pour. Tada! Perfect dice onions.


Butler, I wish for you to wash Io, the natural satellite Jupiter

[Krulle]

Sir, I must respectfully demand that you pay the costs I will have to be able to fulfil this deman up front.
Not only NASA would be happy with your funding, also the shares of companies producing sosp have risen.

*comes back a year later, in shorts and Hawaii shirt, with a rather dark brown tan*

Sir, I am finally done with this assignment. Since I rinsed Io too hot, it shrank and consequently the International Astronomical Union has renamed Io consequently to "O". That should be sufficient proof for you that I did my job.
And my bills have made you bankrupt and transferred all your assets to me. So I request you to leave my house now, as my new friends from the IAU and myself desire to party.


Butler, go and shoot at least one goal more for ADO this weekend than Ajax will shoot this weekend.
(referring to football, ADO The Hague vs. Ajax Amsterdam is this weekend. ADO is nearly bankrupt, and Ajax the very big favourite in this game.)

[GathersIngredients]

*goes into a local sport club and scores goals* There you go, Sir.

Oh, you meant goals that actually would COUNT for their game? You should have said so.




Butler, find me a way to keep WearsHats healthy and well rested.

[Krulle]

Sure.
I assume his ashes will stay well rested and healthy for the rest of eternity.

Butler, my job is going down the drain. Make it stop (your own job depends on it!).

[raaabr]

I've clogged the drain with new legislative papers that should extend your time in office, sir. That should do the trick.





Butler, find me a DMV that is perfectly fine and pleasant.

[Krulle]

Sure, Sir. This https://dmv.mathematik.de club seems to be a perfectly fine and pleasant association of German Mathematicians (DMV).
It will also help you understandig Gauss, Euler, and Pythagoras.

Butler, cut me some fresh mudcake in the monsoon!